Grande L'amour (Katsudeku)

Runaway

  The sun peeked over the horizon and the grey clouds slowly lit up. It had stormed all night only to stopped about an hour ago. I sat in bed, double checking that I had everything I needed. When I was sure of it I began zipping up my bag and slung it over my shoulder only for my eyes to land on a family picture on my nightstand.

  My dad left me when I was little and My mother struggled to get a stable job due to her gender and age. The two of us had little to no money throughout My whole whole life which kept me from achieving my dreams in life

   A few nights ago, I had decided to chase after my dream. It was a leap of faith, but even if I failed, I knew my mother would be better off if she didn't have to provide for me. So despite my doubts, I continued on my journey.

   stood up from my bed and reached a tender hand towards the photo of my mother and I. My eyes lingered on it for a bit longer before I placed it back down and turned away. My shoes shuffled against the carpet and stopped at the door. I reached forward, my hand shaking as it moved up to stick the tear stained note to the wood. I had spent hours the previous night, dwelling and stressing on the perfect words to use to say goodbye to my mother.

  'Dear Mom,

I love you, thank you so much for providing for me all these years and being the best mother I could ever ask for. Sadly, I have to leave now. I have decided to go off and chase my dreams. You'll be better off now since you don't have to provide for me. Please don't chase after me, I'm leaving on my own accord. I can't stay trapped here in this tiny town anymore. I need to explore. If this works out how I hope, I will come back to you and provide for you the same way you always did for me. I'm running out of room to write... So I guess this is goodbye. I miss you already!

  Love, Izu'

  As I stepped out the door, a rush of cold wind carresed my face and the distant scent of morning dew came to life. I hesitantly moved down the path towards the train station. With each step my legs trembled and my palms grew sweaty.

  The sun slowly rose over the horizon and spread a  warm glow across the wold. I eyed the scenery as I passed it, allowing my mind to drift off. I tried to imagine what my life would be like from this point forward. Would I make it, Or would I just be making everything so much worse for myself? Only the future would tell.

  A few more minutes and I had arrived at the bus station. The bench was cold and empty, sitting on it helped me realize the reality of this whole situation. I was really leaving everything I had ever known. Was I ready? Soon, the only thing I could hear was my pounding heart. It rang through my entire body as my breathing slowly became heavier. I could feel my hands start to shake and everything began to feel numb.

  'Where am I going?'

  'Why am I doing this?'

  'I'm so stupid!'

  'what was I thinking?!'

  Just as I was about to turn around the bus appeared in front of me, squealing to a stop. I glanced towards it and back towards the way home. What should I do? Is this a mistake?

  The bus driver glared at me expectingly. I took a deep breath and walked up the steps. I handed the man a couple dollars I had been saving and examined him. His brown hair was long and scraggly, hanging around his face. A bit of stubble surrounded his perminant frown and yellow teeth. He wore a grey T-shirt and his stomach rubbed up against the steering wheel.

  The bus was fairly empty, only a few people littered across the seats. I slowly walked down the isle and sat down in the first empty seat. My feet sat about an inch off the dirty floor and my hands rested neatly in my lap. I was definitely the youngest on this bus and none of these men seemed trust worthy. I was too paranoid at this point to just ignore that fact so I reached for my only sense of security and protection, the pocket knife my dad had given me when I was 6.

  I kept a hand on the small object in my pocket and stared out the window at the passing trees. Each tree has its own story carved into it's barks. Stories of struggles and hardships but also, stories of peace and unison. How many small animals had taken shelter within her warmth? How baby birds had taken a leap of faith off one of her branches? What is it like to be so tall, to see the world from an outer perspective? What do I look like from up there?

  The more I thought about it, the more I wondered. Trees are so ancient, how much have they seen? How much will they see?

Will they see what my future holds?