Contracting Concerns

Rewind

Let me question the theory of youth.

For its been depecited as a moment that centers around letting lose, experiencing levels of uncontrollable teenage angst and falling in love. Running in circles with a primadonna boy is not part of the plan. Where's the romanticism in all of that? 

To me, he's more complex than an advanced calculus problem, being unable to unhook a bra strap or forcing previously frozen processed food down your throat. Its a nagging thought lingering more than necessary yet not as unpleasant as I expected.

I've recently come to the point in life where my time is consumed by trying to salvage a decent social life, making time for my family and procrastinating on school work. I'm grateful that in between that, there's time for me to laze around but as of now its being depleted by a certain someone.

As someone who's practically confused on the basics of a flirtationship, I'm stunned at how he's still interested. From a bystander's perspective he's basically another hormonal boy killing time with a meaningless fling. 

Regardless, he's charmed me. I'm blinded by a cunning grin, lightly tanned skin and wavy black hair. He seems to fumble with retorts at times yet is intrigued with a quiet approach. Its an excuse to grin when he points out topics he's angered but always justifies it with lame reasons.

Im feeling hopeless, so please dont let this be love.

I should be more cynical and tell myself its not okay.