Intolerance {Star Trek Enterprise Fan Fiction}

The Queen's Departure

Pamela woke first, but didn't move. She was still kind of tired, but that wasn't the reason. It just ... it felt good.

She did stir enough, though, that Malcolm woke. He kissed her ear, “How are you feeling?"

"Very good,” she said, “You, um, I can tell. I'm not so sure I can perform again, or if we have the time. We have to talk."

"I suppose there's no getting 'round it,” he said, breaking away and sitting up, “Pity there isn't more time."

"Yes,” she said, eying him, “But, ugh, as little as I love it, the talk's gotta happen. Instead. Sorry."

"It's all right, Darling."

"Reed, I'm not the one,” she said.

"But –"

"No. I'm not. And you're not the one, either."

"P–"

"No. Malcolm, I never get a chance to say or do anything noble,” she said, “So just, just be quiet for a little bit and, and let me be noble for once. Okay?"

"All right,” he said, getting up. He would listen without distraction.

"Like I said, I'm, I'm not. And you're not. And this is fun and all, but it's ..."

"Just fun?" he asked.

"No. More than that. But we gotta be fair to each other. This will be distance and apart- uh, -ness, and there will be other people and temptations and you can't expect me to wait. I can't expect you to, either. You don't have to."

"Darling ..."

"Please don't."

"No. Let me speak a little now,” he said, “You're, you're right,” He paused for a moment.

"I am?"

"Yes. It feels a bit freeing, to say that aloud. But, I want you to know what this has all, what it has all meant to me. Can I tell you that?"

"Yes, of course,” she slipped on her shoes.

"Throughout my life, my life as a lover, that is, I have either pined for the unattainable or held back with the ones I could have, and never truly got close to any of them. With you, though, it is, it has been, well, about testing my limits. About knowing what I could, could tolerate. Do you recall the first time I kissed you?"

"Of course."

"And I was being as careful as I could be, because I was afraid it would all shatter. My feelings, your interest, the moment, everything. That it would simply become pulverized if I pressed on it more than by the slightest amount. And you showed me – that you, and me, and what we could, what we have had, that it's all, it's all made from, from sterner stuff. None of it shattered. And I learned that I could do more, and be more, and feel more. The very limits of my intolerance have been stretched."

"You've seen how much you can take,” she said, fixing her hair in the mirror's reflection.

"Yes. And I've determined that I can take a lot. I suppose that's a part of why I was able to consent to the Klingon doctor coming aboard. The old Malcolm would have been mortified, would have found every possible way to get out of that. I'm not saying that we became friends but I got to see him as a, well, as a person."

"I confess I was a bit alarmed when that lumm – the Klingon – picked me up. He did have one hand under my butt the entire time."

Malcolm smiled to himself a little, “I can't say as I totally blame him. You do have a rather nice one."