slowly fading memories | watty's2016

2

~ Missy Smith ~

"But Holly-!" I whined, about to try convincing her once more, but she cut me off with a silencing glare. I shut my mouth and cast my eyes to the ground, knowing I couldn't win a fight with her - or even start one for that matter. Everyone knew you never disagreed with a queen bee - especially the queen bee.

I stood beside her awkwardly, messing with the strap of my designer bag while she ruffled through the stuff in her locker. I was murmuring my speech for reading silently under my breath when Holly turned sharply.

"Can you, just, like, go? I can't even think with how close you are - not to mention that god awful racket you're making!" She said exasperatedly, looking at me with raised eyebrows and sharp eyes. For a moment I was stunned, but, looking hurriedly at the floor and clutching my bag, turned around on my heel and sped away. Students stared as I walked past them, disappearing from sight as I quickly swept around the corner and took a deep breath, straightening and adjusting my purse so it was situated just right on my shoulder. Sticking my chin out in the air, I strutted to class, ignoring the twinge of worry and (surprisingly) hurt buried in my chest.

You can never show weakness when you're in my shoes, not even a twinge. People will pounce on it like starved animals, savagely tearing you down until all that's left is a shell of your former self.

I concealed my feelings behind the mask I'd become so accustomed to and entered the classroom with my head held high.

Ms. Lopenski looked at me with a bored expression as I walked to my seat; sliding into it. People scrutinized me, but when I turned, they quickly averted their eyes as if they hadn't been watching. With a smug smile, I turned around and threw my purse onto the top of the chair, letting it swing there while I crossed my legs and put a blank look on my face, pretending to be a ditzy, mindless follower of Holly Fisher - the most popular girl in school. Everyone believed I was - my act was pretty impeccable. Inside, though, my thoughts were churning.

What if she decides not to be my friend anymore - though I wouldn't call our relationship 'friendly'. Sure, we have sleepovers and spend nearly every second together, but really? Holly can't be that blind...right? Is it seriously not obvious to her that the only reason I hang around with the clique that trails the populars is to one day be her replacement? That would be sad - maybe I overestimated her. But still, I have to re-forge our...closeness. She has to trust me more. Maybe a new bit of gossip would subdue her? Or the latest new trend? I honestly don't know - but for now I just have to go up in front of the class and give my usual mindless speech to keep the student body at bay...do they really think I'm this dumb? I mean, is it even possible for someone to be as stupid as I'm pretending to be...well, maybe one person. Callaway isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.

"Missy Smith?"

I nearly jumped out of my seat, but knew that would probably undermine my cool, simple-minded exterior.

"Oh, yes? I was thinking about-" I scrambled for a good excuse but quickly covered my loss for words. "-unicorns. I was thinking about unicorns." It seemed lame to me - who would buy it? But the class giggled, so I turned around and gave an innocent look, as if I really was thinking about imaginary creatures. The laughter died down as they realized I was serious (which I really wasn't). I turned back around to face the un-amused teacher.

"It's your turn to present your speech for the class." She said in her nasally voice which sounded dull and bored at the moment.

I smiled perkily and flipped my hair, standing up and sashaying to the front of the room.

"So, I did my report on a movie. I really didn't feel like writing one about a book, because, seriously, a book is like writing letters - we have the internet and really don't need to read anymore! Like, hello, they made Google for a reason!"

The class' eyebrows raised as I smiled and gave them a 'duh' face to convey my point.

"Anyway, I did my report on the movie Titanic. I absolutely loved this movie - especially the surprise ending!"

Ms. Lopenski looked at me from above her glasses, which were perched dangerously close to the end of her hooked nose. I turned my eyes away from her and back to the class, putting exuberant energy into my words.

"So, I chose this because, like, I was on Twitter, and, I see this comment saying, 'Remember the Titanic and all lost' and I'm all, 'Girl, it was just a movie! No need to get so emotional!' but then, she was like, 'It actually happened' and I'm all, 'No, it was a movie with really good photography' but, so, like, it actually did happen and I'm still, like, wow, that's super sad. Like, totally tragic -especially since that guy died and the girl's all #sadface. But, yeah, that's my report."

The class clapped hesitantly, but soon realized I wasn't kidding and filled in with applause. I curtsied and went to my seat, smiling, and mouthing thank you's. Ms. Lopenski shuffled slowly to the front of the room, stopping and calling up the next person before resuming her slow walk back to her desk. Some kid with chubby arms and a face peppered with acne trudged up to the front of the class and gave a mumbly jumble of words before fast-walking to his desk. The rest of the students gave their speeches as I abjectly filed my perfectly manicured nails. The bell rang and I stood up, swinging my purse over my shoulder and strutting towards the door. The people there parted and I walked out, swishing my skirt and swinging my hips proudly.

"Hey!"

I turned my head a little to see Callaway take stride next to me. I smiled tightly, then turned my focus ahead and continued down the hall.

"So where's Damon?" She asked as I moved down the corridor, turning and pressing the button for the elevator. I froze, spinning around to face her, with burning eyes.

"What did you just say?" I hissed, my voice steely. She looked startled, smacking into my body and pulling herself back up to her height. Her face was blank, her eyes confused just enough to look fake - but anyone who knew Callaway had already learned the girl was not bright, and when she looked confused it meant she really had no idea what you were talking about.

"Didn't you two, like, start having a thing?"

I glared daggers at her.

"Who told you that?" I seethed and she took a step back, looking at me like I was crazy.

"Holly - she said everyone already knew."

My vision was spotty with anger. My face was hot. I spun around and jammed my finger into the elevator button. The doors opened and I stepped in, but just as Callaway was about to follow I shoved a hard finger in her chest, pushing her back.

"You can take the stairs." I said heatedly. Her mouth popped open and she looked down at her six-inch heels, which were no doubt going to make it very hard to walk down the three flights to her next class. I smiled without humor as the doors began closing and she continued to stare at me with shock written across her features. I gave an icy wave and fake smile that was easily transparent, then glared at her as she was cut off by the metal doors.

As the elevator descended, I became more and more angry. Heat turned to hail. My blood turned to ice, my eyes to fire. When the beep sounded to let me know I'd reached my desired floor, I was already walking towards my locker.

I had to squash my resentment.

I couldn't take the queen bee on alone.

Not yet.