Troyler and Phan Oneshots

Last Breath

A/N- Just a quick warning; this is going to be sad, I am not responsible if there are any tears shed while reading this.

Trigger warnings; death and suicide.

Also; I suggest listening to "The Fault in Our Stars" by Troye Sivan.

Troye's P.O.V

I sit on the cold bathroom tile, alone, just remembering. Remembering him; the love of my life, my best friend, my partner in crime. I remember him before the cancer struck, although I watch his old videos so often that I can picture him perfectly with every hair color, but especially lilac; that was my favorite.

I remember how numb and unresponsive he was when the doctor called with the news, the news that would change our lives.

I remember having to make a video telling all of his fans what was wrong, and getting the overwhelming amount of letters and gifts in the P.O box.

I remember how much he protested when he heard that he had to lose his hair, his precious, colorful quiff. He was so devastated that I shaved my head too, just to show him that he was not alone. I will never forget the look of wonder and love that he gave me in that moment.

I remember when he began to get too tired to do much else than lay in his bed with his laptop and cuddle, when he would break down on my chest because he couldn't be independent any more.

I remember when we would come home from treatments and he would be unbearably sick and I had to be at his side the whole time, but I didn't mind because I was near him.

I remember the time that I went out to the store, but when I came back, he was sitting solemnly at the table, he called me over and was breaking up with me. I asked him why and he said that he wanted me to be free and not have to worry about having a dying boyfriend. I laughed and said to him that I couldn't care less that he was dying; he was still the same person that I fell in love with.

I remember when the cancer got really bad, we both knew that he was near the end. When we went to the hospital, a route we both knew by heart, he turned to me when we were at a light and said "Why don't we get married?" I immediately pulled over. I kissed him and agreed, he surprised me by taking a ring out of his pocket and slipping it on my finger. It was a slim silver band studded with tiny little diamond chips, it was perfect. I broke down crying and didn't stop for quite some time.

I remember calling his family down to visit in the hospital, even his dad showed up. We had a great party and so much fun, until the nurse shut it down.

I remember crawling into the tiny hospital bed with him, cuddling up as close as possible, because I didn't want to miss out on him before he left.

I remember a few days before his last day; when he seemed happy and excited, he made jokes and called our friends and family to talk to them and catch up. We took a few too many selfies that day, but it was worth it, and I'm so glad we did.

I remember when he got worse and worse, he slept the most of the day, but luckily the nausea had stopped because they had stopped his chemo and radiation treatments.

I remember the last day, when he was kind of numb, but still in pain, he seemed like he knew it was his time to go. He wouldn't stop telling me how much he loved me.

I remember that his last words were "I love you so much Troyeboy, don't forget me, but move on with your life." And I kissed his forehead as he breathed his last breath before he flatlined.

I remember screaming and crying that they had to save him, but it was no use. He couldn't be saved.

I remember going home that night, I couldn't sleep, the apartment smelled like him and looked like him. I finally got to sleep, snuggled up in one of his jumpers and on his side of the bed, in order to be as close to him as possible.

Here I am now; with a bottle of whiskey, his favorite drink, and bottles of pills. I had tried to move on, but I couldn't, how can you just move on when the love of your life has died? I hadn't even taken off the ring; I couldn't. So I turned to this. I just wanted to see my sweet little Tilly again. I wrote the note and put it on my bed before slowly walking to the bathroom. I sat down on the cold hard tile, and began swallowing pills and washing them down with booze. All of a sudden my vision begins to fade and with the last of my energy, I say "I love you Tilly" and all goes black.