Kim's Point of View:
One of my really close celebrity friends, Paris Hilton, called me on my iPhone 6 today, and she asks if I'm going to be making an appearance at a Harry Potter premiere tomorrow night. I never got any invite for a Harry Potter premiere. "They probably lost it in the mail or something," Paris suggests.
"Yeah I'm going to go over to my mom's and see if any of the girls got an invite," I tell her.
So I get in the back seat of my Mercedes, and tell Shapiro, my driver, where to go. I ring the doorbell, and Kendall opens it.
"Hey Ken, did you get any invite to a Harry Potter premiere for tomorrow night?" I ask, and step inside.
"No, why?" She says while closing the door behind me. I don't bother to answer, and find my mom in the kitchen. She's doing some sort of photoshoot which doesn't surprise me.
"Mom did you get an invitation for a Harry Potter premiere tomorrow night?" I ask.
"Kimmy, can't you see I'm in the middle of a photoshoot for my book?" She says, and I read the title in her
hands "In the Kitchen With Kris". I
giggle to myself, "Mom you don't cook or read, don't you have a personal chef?" I tell her, but quickly remember what I was here for, "Did you get an invite for a Harry Potter premiere?" I ask again, my patience fading.
"What Harry Potter premiere?" She asks, her eyes not on me but the cameras now. No invite for the Ks? I decide to call the host, and get things straightened out. "Hi this is Kim Kardashian, and I heard about a Harry Potter premiere that's gonna be held tomorrow.. I was just wondering if I was on the list because obviously my invitation got lost in the mail," I say.
"Oh yeah you're not on the list," he effortlessly tells me.
"How can you be so sure?" I ask.
"Because the venue is filled with important people and important people only. Unfortunately, you're not important. This conversation is over," and he hangs up.
The last time I felt this disrespected was when Rob called me a whore in Tahiti a few years ago. My mind is racing. We, the one and only Kardashians, were not invited to something most celebrities will be at. My eyes shut and the last thing I hear is the sound of my body crashing onto the tile floor.
Kendall's Point of View:
In the hospital room, my newly manicured hands gently stroke Kim's face as she moans words like "Not..Invited..Harry Potter.. I'm important." When I try to put the words into thought, her eyes open.
"Hi Kim," I say to her.
"Why the hell am I in here again?" She asks, "Where's North.. And Kanye."
"North is with Kourtney and her kids outside.. Kanye is out of town.. He's been out of town," I tell her. "What time is it? We need to go see that Harry Potter movie," she still sounds unconscious..Does she even know who Harry Potter is? The doctor walks in, giving us the okay to leave.
Kim's Point of View:
I change out of the horrid, possibly worth 99 cents, hospital gown, and back into my dress from the Kardashian Kollection. I step outside, and put North into my arms. "So where do you want to go?" Kendall asks. The premiere subject reappears in my brain.. Paris Hilton and Beyoncé are going to be tweeting all night about this event that I wasn't invited to.
"Well first to that Armenian restaurant for dinner, and then to go see Harry Potter," I tell them, and the shock in their eyes is visible.
Kourtneys Point of View:
What Kim just said has us all in complete shock. Kim Kardashian was going to sneak into a Harry Potter Premiere? Kylie, Kendall, Kris, and I look at each other. Kim studies our faces and then says, " No not the premiere, we are going to go and watch Harry Potter in the theater." Kendall gasps and Kylie looks like she is about to throw up. Kris looks at Kim and then starts cracking up.
"You- You- You're going to watch H-Harry Potter at a theater?" Kris says between laughs, or chokes, hard to tell.
Kylie raises her voice, " This is going to ruin our reputation. Do you know how many celebs are going to be tweeting about the premiere? If you just stay at home and tweet about you being at some really big party, the media won't mind, but if they find out that you were sitting at a local movie theater watching the movie and not at the premiere, then watch yourself go from an A- lister to an E- lister."
Kim's Point of View:
Kim's POV:
Kylie needs to shut her face. She's 17. I'm 34. I know what I'm doing. "I thought being a celebrity for 3 years would teach you that there is something called DISGUISES," I say, "Oh and I will always be an A lister. I'm married to Kanye west, have my own app and clothing line and I mean look at my butt." If Paris Hilton called me about it, that means there will be talk of it, and I really need to get out of my comfort zone. I grab my coat and bag, and head to the door. "Anyone is welcome to join me if they please."
I quickly throw on my 3D glasses that irritate my nose, and walk into theater #3. The smell of popcorn-- carbs I mean, fills the air, and I stare at the worn out seats that don't look very sanitary. The theater is filling up too fast for me to keep staring at the seats judgingly. "You're wearing Louis Vuitton," my subconscious tells me. "Ugh but you also want to get out of your comfort zone," she adds. I quickly sit down before I can talk my self out of it. I glance at the person loudly enjoying his food, not bothering to keep his mouth shut while doing it. I am disgusted, wiping my $5,000 boots off in a place unprivileged people come to have fun. The Warner Brother's logo is approaching the screen, the movie is staring, and out of the corner of my eye Kendall is rushing next to me.
"Harry Potter is hot, right?" She asks with a hushed tone.
I grin, "We'll see."
We advance into the movie, and
a disgusting face approaches the screen. "Who is that?" I ask Kendall.
"I think that's Voldemort," she tells me.
"He really needs a nose job," I tell her, and she laughs, but I wasn't joking.
