Where Do Broken Hearts Go » n.h. (editing)

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                                                                                                                                         November 21, 2014

Dear Jane,

Its been two weeks since, we last saw each other.

Two weeks since I broke your heart.

Two weeks since I told you I slept with another girl.

Those minutes of crying, you yelling at me, and getting on my knees for your forgiveness as you walked out the door felt like absolute torture. But I deserve it, I deserve all the pain, and this void in my heart that only you could fill.

I'm sorry I made you feel like you weren't good enough, but that was never the case. I guess I just needed a distraction while I was traveling around the world, while you at the end of it.

I don't want to sound like I'm justifying my actions, since there is no purpose in doing so because what I did was horrible.

On some days I wish you to find someone who will treat you better than I ever did, a person who will give you the world, a person who will be there for you and not home the first minute then gone the next, a person who will make time for you no matter how busy or tried they are. But sometimes I'll be selfish and just hoping that you'll forgive me and give me a second chance. I'm willing to do anything even if I have to win you all over again, I don't care I just wanted to be with you.

I told the boys about what happened last week. Liam and Zayn were shocked and just sat there staring at me with disappointment and slight anger or sadness in their eyes , Harry on the other hand did something no one have ever expected, he nearly tackled me to the ground if Louis and Liam didn't hold him back.

He kept cussing me out and screaming about how much of a monster I was for playing with your heart, and how I don't deserve someone like you, and he was right. Louis told me to go home before Harry punches my face. I didn't really want to go home, I did want Harry to punch me because I know I would've deserved it anyways.

Harry has never really reacted this way, he's usually very calm and quite, but Harry always had a soft spot for you. You two were very close, I guess that's the reason he was so angry. I would be too if I found out my best friend got her heart broken by my other best friend.

I came by Liam's flat the day after that, the other three were there too. I remember being left alone in the living room with Harry for quite awhile, then I asked him how you were doing, but all he did was shrug and continued doing whatever he was doing on his phone.

That night on my way home, I passed by the park and I see images flashing before my eyes, images of you and me, how we used to be before I ruined everything.

I really am sorry for ruining everything.

I love you, Jane

Yours truly,

Niall 

~

edited: January 3, 2016