A Book of Poems

Me VS Overthinking (Sex related...)

///Something that some girls relate to and some guys who too overthink.///

///Might do a poem on a depth more into overthinking//

Feel like I'm going on a downward spiral,

Having no control of my life,

Just wanting to push people away,

Cause I am just tired.

I am tired of this,

Tired of that,

There are many times where life isn't good,

But I don't like this feeling,

The feeling of wanting to be alone.We won't see each other for a month,

Things ended so coldly,

Not even a good night kiss-

Nor a text later on.

Things like this make me wonder,

Feel like I am trying too hard,

Feel like it is all on my shoulders now.

I am tired of reaching out,

Tired of the chasing,

Maybe it is me,

Needing the reassurance,

Mind jumping to many things,

I can't remember,

Just don't understand,

How my overthinking began,

But perhaps it started with your shorten phrases.

Where do we stand?

I need to know.

I am trying to fight an inner battle with me,

Trying not to push you away,

But I want to,

Fighting a battle within,

Cause things don't seem fine.

Okay we tried stuff,

But why does every time we do,

You act so different,

Just don't comprehend,

I gave you a suggestion,

And it turned into a big deal,

And you just stopped-

Didn't even wait for me.

Don't you see?

Why I hate sex?

Cause everything related to that,

Ends up like this,

It gives me never ending doubts,

Makes me not fall asleep,

Makes me feel dirty,

Because of how quick your mood changes.

This is why I will never have sex before marriage,

And probably barely if that,

Cause it seems to me

That you become colder,

And I twitch my shoulder,

What a downward spiral.

What a battle I am losing,

Feeling like I will end up forever alone-

Struggling not to push you away,

But I want to,

Cause I feel like you don't get me,

Or maybe that is just me-

Can't tell,

Don't know,

Battling a battle with my overthinking 

and anxiety.