She's broken, She's weak, She's all the wrong, at least to herself. Annalise Hale, a freshman in college, but a senior at being hurt.
What more can this peculiar girl go through? much more. Insert Aiden, Maxwell's notorious bad boy, but deep down is...
I stare through the window of our car as my mom drives into the driveway of our new home. Parking the car, I help get our luggage into our new home while mom comes in with the rest of our stuff. I guess this place isn't that bad, it seems like a quiet neighborhood and I like it quiet.
" honey, you can go up to your new room and organize your belongings, I'll be ordering some food for us since its late. if you get tired just go to sleep, you need rest, okay?" mom tiredly says while punching some numbers on her phone. Agreeing, I head for my new room and find it quickly since this house has only 3 bedrooms, I figured id go for this room which has a huge window displayed just after walking into the room. Well, all the houses here look the same and they are really nice I guess.
After a few hours, I'm done with unpacking and setting my room so I head down to find my mom serving dinner, pizza and some soda, well I prefer only water. I know weird right. Sitting down on a chair in front of the table, I dig in and quickly finish 3 slices of pizza in less than 6 minutes, yeah I'm that hungry. Mom looks at me for a slight second and continues with her plate. Once done with the dishes, I help my mom with setting the whole house and after that, I head for my room and prepare for a shower.
I make it to my bed and can't seem to fall asleep. my head starts to hurt once again and all the scenes I kept locked up in my mind for the car ride appear again. What if they find out about my new home? what if they find out? all those thoughts creep up in my mind while I nervously fiddle. Grabbing the glass of water on my bedside table, I search my backpack and get a painkiller. I always either start to have a panic attack, headache, or tummy ache when I think about all of those thoughts that I am trying too hard to hide.
I look at my bare wrists that I can't even look at for a second without crying, why me? I would have never done it if I knew the outcome, but I guess everything happens for a reason. Even those who you might think don't deserve to be hurt get hurt the most, those who cry themselves to sleep every night, those always wearing a smile to comfort others whereas they are the ones in need of comfort. You know what they say, "The real fear of depression isn't dying, it's living with yourself, forever". And I don't want that, I wish life had an undo like computers, but feeling sorry for yourself makes it so much more painful, not physically, but emotionally and mentally.
The pills are not working, the words are not working. Tears start to freely flow down my face like a river escaping a dam, not realizing I was already in the arms of maman (mom) while she tells me to take deep breaths and suddenly my breathing becomes normal again while I start to hiccup. Giving up as always, I let the darkness consume me and I fall into a long slumber, at least to a world that feels like home.
Unfortunately waking up, I lazily get up and head to my bathroom. Not bothering to look at the monster in the mirror, I prepare myself for a long warm bath. I have always had thoughts of trying to breathe underwater but my mom always overreacts. Letting the warm water comfort me, I start to scrub my body, hoping to get rid of all the scars I already have. I finish with my bath and to my dismay, I look at her in the mirror, her brown eyes creeping me out more than ever as her black long hair covers her cleavage and some parts of her ugly face, and yet people have the audacity to tell me 'keep on fighting' for what? to see her everyday? no, please just take me away already.
But why is she crying? I should be the one to cry, not her, STOP! CRYING! YOU CRYBABY!. I furiously head to my closet and pick out a simple outfit. Ready to start another day.
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For breakfast, I only had blueberry baked oatmeal. Mom had asked me to go grocery shopping with her and since I don't want to stay alone in this house that we just moved in, I agreed. We are currently walking through the cold\frozen food aisle and mom is picking out some vegetables.
"Please get me some frozen yogurt," I tell my mom as I go to explore other parts of the store and head to the stationery aisle. Picking out some markers, notebooks, and more random cute stuff I hear slight footsteps from behind me. Trying not to panic, I play it off cooly and start ahead to my mother. Once I'm out of the aisle, I look behind me to see a boy, probably my age, staring at me with his emotionless hazel eyes, should I say hi? or just walk away?.
"Hey, Do you ...uhm n-need something?" I ask nervously, what if its someone from my old school? oh no, run Anna!.
Without letting him say anything, I run off to my mom's car and the security alarm of the store goes off, making me panic even more. I see two buff men walk fastly to me and say " Stop right there kid!" in really rough voices which just scared me more, oh no Anna.
Luckily mom came out of the store quickly and apologized after paying for the stuff I got. I could still see the guy that caused all of this and told my mom to take me home. What if he is one of them? I didn't switch towns, homes, and schools just to be found by them again.
" What happened to you in there Liss?" mom asks worriedly, still driving. Mom has always been there and really she does not deserve this kind of behavior from me, she too deserves better, much better. Letting out a small sigh, I look out the window and tell her what happened.
We reach our home and organize everything we got. Once I got into my room, I arranged my stuff and picked out something to wear for my first day at college as a freshman.
