Hiraeth

Chapter 47

Enjoy!
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“Harami! (Bastard!)” Zamid abused him and slapped the back of his head.

Zayn just put his hands up and shrugged with a cheeky smile. At the same time, there was a door bell sound and Zayn went to open the door and receive the food delivery. When he came back with food, Daniyal and Rayaan were walking towards the kitchen where Zamid was already present.

“Zayn, Zamid, I think you both should go and check on hana! I and dani will bring food in her room and eat there! I think she needs someone with her and you guys are the only ones that are her mehram!” Rayaan suggested to the brothers and took food bags from Zayn. Both the brothers nodded and went to check on her.

Hana was getting out of the bathroom when they entered her room after knocking once. She had taken her abaya off but not the hijab.

“Do you need something? You know, like pain killers or pad-” Zamid was going to ask about the sanitary pads but she shrieked before he can say something further. Her face was already red and now the tears again started to flow. Zayn and Zamid were not able to understand her.

“I hate you!” She said while pointing at Zamid with extreme anger. Due to periods, she was in pain and then the embarrassment of her brother knowing about it made her even more emotional. She was the type of girl who was not comfortable with telling anyone about her periods. Even if she was having the worst cramps, she would rather have no one know about her periods than go to a doctor or something. But, now when her own brother was asking so casually about this, her embarrassment was at another level.

“You can’t talk about it so normally! It’s not your America where there is no problem for girls to talk about it! It is Pakistan! You are not to talk about it!” She hissed at them so that no one from outside can hear her say this.

“But we are your brothers! There is no one beside us!” Zayn tried to sooth her but she was not having any of this.

“BROTHERS? What brothers? You never cared for me and now that you know that I have a family, you decided that I now deserve you guys! Is this why you are trying to be nice to me!?” Hana sarcastically said and then turned to Zamid with fire in her eyes.

“HANA!” Zamid also shouted in anger as she was being rude to an elder person.

“What hana!? Don’t ‘hana’ me! You know when I got to know that I was adopted, I started to keep my distance from Baba and you both too! I did not take my hijab off in front of you all too as I thought you guys are not my Mehram! But then, Aunty Palwasha told me that mamma breastfed me as she was Lactating at that time so it made you all my Mehram too! We are foster siblings so I don’t have to do ‘Parda’ from you guys! That was when I again started to be free with Zayn bhai! But you, you never looked at me! It was as if I don’t even exist to you!” She again started mockingly in her anger but then this anger shifted to sadness. She did not wanted to tell all this to anyone but due to her emotional state, she just bursted and said whatever had been in her mind and heart for all these years.

“I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU ALL! You guys are the worst! I will never forgive you for what you guys have done to me for all these years! Do you even know what it had done to me!?” she looked up at Zamid with tears flowing freely on her face and accusation clearly shown all over her face. She was extremely hurt! The traumatic experience that she experienced today was a breaking point for her! And the cherry on top, being her on periods! Her emotions were everywhere! Zamid was shell shocked at her outburst and silently heard her sorrows and accusations.

“Your rude behavior and ignorance had made me hate myself! I don’t like myself! I started hating myself at that time that maybe it was me who was at fault! That maybe I had done something to hurt you all! Maybe I was a sinner! But no! It’s not me! It’s you! It’s you all that is crazy! It’s you all that had a problem! And the problem was in your heads! What had I even done to you to deserve it all! Huh? I never told mamma and baba to adopt me! I was not the one who made them to come to the orphanage to take me! It was all them! You know what, it would have been better if they had never adopted me! Even more, if I was not even born! I hate my existence! I hate myself!” she shouted all this while showing disgust at herself! She was on the verge of hysteria! She had lost her senses and was just taking out her frustration of all this time on Zamid and Zayn! Mostly Zamid! He was silently listening to it all as it was his entire fault! He was the one who had done the most damage to her soul! He could not even justify his actions as there is no justification.