Fear and Regret | The Orville

Chapter 1

Late one night, Gordon, Dann, Bortus, Isaac and John went to Ed's quarters. He was currently sleeping so it didn't bother him his own crew were disturbing him. Plus, he has a CPAP mask on as he has sleep apnea. The only people on the ship that know he has it are Gordon and Kelly, since they've heard how loud his snoring is.

"So, what was the plan again?" John whispered.

"We let Izzy out of his cage and let it be free in the Captain's quarters." Gordon explained. He was holding the cage.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this." Dann shrugged.

"I agree with Lieutenant Dann. What if the Captain gets mad at us and we get fired or face worse circumstances?" Bortus agreed.

"I think we should get the spider out and see what happens." Isaac said.

"Maybe things won't get worse this time." Gordon pointed out. He let the spider out of it's cage and placed it on Ed's nightstand. "Sleep tight, buddy." He whispered to Ed. Gordon and the others left his quarters afterwards, going to theirs. The next morning, Ed woke up and took off his mask. He felt very refreshed, as well as his hair being messy.

He screamed, falling off his bed. The spider was in his side of the mattress and it terrified him. He began grabbing his robe and started running out of his quarters to the bridge. Gordon was talking to the crew about last night.

"And so then we–Hey, Ed. What's up?" He greeted him.

"There's a spider in my quarters!" He exclaimed.

"Really?" He gasped.

"Yes! It's gross and hairy looking!" He whimpered. The crew went to his quarters and saw the spider and Ed screamed even more so at it, hiding somewhere in the room.

"Ed, relax. It's just a harmless little creature." Kelly sighed. She was holding the spider and placed it on a glass jar.

"What if I said I was the one who put the spider in his quarters?" Gordon said. Kelly, Claire and Talla began laughing so hard that they couldn't find it obviously true.

"It's true. Lieutenant Malloy isn't lying." Isaac said.

"Yeah, right." Claire wiped the tears of her face.

"That's my pet spider. I named it Izzy and if you hurt him, he will bite." Gordon pointed out.

"Take the spider back to your quarters, then." Talla smiled.

"Okay." He shrugged. That day, Ed was rocking back and forth, traumatized by the spider and was crying as well. "Hi, Ed." Gordon greeted him.

"Hey." He answered, his eyes red and puffy.

"Can we talk about the spider? It was stupid of me to think about letting it in your quarters like that." He explained to him.

"Why did you do it then?" He answered, disappointed in him.

"I was hoping you'd be over that fear. But I guess you weren't." He assured him.

"Well, based on how you calmly apologized to me, I'll forgive you." He sighed.

"Ed, if you want to be alone, I can let you." Gordon said. Ed got up and went to his office, tears in his eyes. He felt so embarrassed and was beginning to have self doubts of himself some more.

Gordon went to the mess hall and didn't say a word. John went up to him and greeted him. "Hey, Gordon. Want to play Dungeons and Dragons?" He offered.

"I think I'll pass." He shrugged.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I told Ed about Izzy." He told him.

"Oh man, he's pissed." He guessed, before knowing the real answer.

"Not really. He just forgave me and left." He explained to him.

"I thought he'd be boiling red." He said.

"He's really upset now and I feel bad for doing this." Gordon sighed.

"Well, try to talk to him about the situation some more." John placed his hands on his shoulders.

"I'll try." He got up and left the mess hall. He went to Ed's office. When he entered it, he saw Ed staring into space. He had a drink in his hand and his eyes were filled with tears. "Ed?" Gordon said, taking a seat next to him.

"What is it?" He said, his eyes glued to the window.

"You have every right to be mad at me for Izzy being in your quarters." He told him.

"I'm not angry about that." He hiccuped a sob.

"What's wrong then?" He swallowed something.

Ed got up and looked around and sipped his whiskey, before looking right back at Gordon. "Every single day, I tell myself I'm not good enough. I'm never doing anything right. I can't eat or sleep without thinking I'm a horrible captain to my own crew. I can't even maintain a healthy relationship because of how fucking stupid I am. You don't get it, Gordon. But everyday, I'm told I need to do better, and I try, but my inner self can't do it because he's a goddamn failure to the galaxy and in general. You want my help? Leave me alone to die of misery." He explained.

"Ed, I'm sorry you are going through this. But I don't think you're any of the horrible things you pointed out. I'm sure everyone does too." Gordon assured him.

"Then, why the hell am I sitting here? Is it because I'm that stupid to function!" He screamed, beginning to cry all over again.

"You're not. If anything, you're one of the greatest captains ever. You're also the greatest pal I've ever had." Gordon softly said, hugging Ed as he was crying his eyes out. "Don't let anyone tell you that you suck. I believe in you more than anyone else did. Just stay strong, okay?" He comforted him.

"Okay." He sobbed.

"Good, because it breaks our hearts to see you like this. Even mine." He stroked his hair. That night, it was movie night aboard the Orville and Gordon was waiting for Ed.

"Hey, Gordon. Waiting for your date?" Dann asked him.

"Not exactly. I'm waiting for Ed." He told him.

"Gotcha. Maybe later this week, he can join us in the simulator." He offered. Gordon laughed and thought about it for a while. Ed finally showed up and Dann left.

"Ed, how are you feeling?" Gordon asked.

"Okay, I guess. What movie is going to be playing?" He asked.

"Friday Night Lights." He told him and he looked down in disappointment.

"Well, let's take a drive to space then." He said.

"Just us two?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then."

A/N: Hey, y'all! So, I wrote this quick one shot of The Orville, because I felt like it and because I really miss the show so much! I am excited for season 3, however and I know it's going to be great just like the first two seasons were. So yeah, if you have any ideas for any future one shots or straight up fanfics of The Orville, feel free to leave a review! Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave a follow and vote. ❤️