The Peculiar Warmth

simula

simula // the peculiar warmth

You can lie to everyone but you can never lie to yourself.

Sabihin ko mang matagal na iyon at tapos na, alam ko sa sarili kong nagsisinungaling ako. I can never fool myself. You can never fool yourself.

My home is where he is. He is my home. I know he doesn't want to see me again after all that has happened. But what can I do? I don't want it here.

"Are you sure about this?" Alisa asked as I pulled one of my luggage near me. I opened it and added some of my clothes there.

I nodded. "Yeah. You can always visit if you want, you know that." I already planned this years ago. I fixed all the requirements needed for the kids.

"Pero iba pa rin talaga kapag nandito kayo. I can go here everyday if I want to, but if you're going back to the Philippines mukhang dalawa o tatlong beses lang kami makakapunta." I know why she's so against this. She's too fond of the twins that she doesn't want them far from her.

"I know."

"Gosh! I'll miss Andi and Sym so much."

Humalakhak ako. "Marry Rave so the two of you can have kids already."

"You know I kind of like that. But... I think Rave wants to have more time sa twins. Ako rin naman. Baka sa susunod na, kapag malaki na ang dalawa."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, ewan ko talaga sa dalawang 'to. "I can take care of them alone. The two of you should start building a family of your own."

It's really really fine with me if they want to make a family now and let me handle the twins alone. Nakakahiya na nga kay Alisa kasi parang responsibilidad pa nila ang mga bata.

"Noooo! We'll help you. Rave will help you." Sabi niya at dumapa sa kama. I heard her sniffing so I guess she's crying.

"Hoy! Bakit ka umiiyak?"

"I'm not."

I laughed and joined her in the bed. "Don't deny. What is it?"

"I'm gonna miss the kids so bad."

"Arte mo! You can always call." I told her and pulled her out of the room. Sa living room ay naabutan naming naglalaro si Sym at Rave habang si Andi naman ay nanonood lang sa dalawa.

"Papa, you coming with us?" I heard Andi asked Rave.

"Yes, baby. But papa is going back here in New York after a few days."

Ihahatid kami ni Rave sa Pilipinas at uuwi din pagkatapos ng ilang araw. Alisa drove us to the airport. This is the twins' first plane ride, Andi was kind of scared while Sym is excited. Halos parehong tulog ang dalawa sa buong byahe. Si kuya Eros naman ang sumundo saamin paglapag ng eroplano.

"Oh my Gosh! They're big na!" Tuwang-tuwang sinabi ng asawa ni kuya Eros na si ate Rica.

I hugged kuya Eros and ate Rica. Binati din ni Rave ang mag-asawa. Hawak ko sa kamay si Andi na magulong-magulo ang naka-pigtail na buhok while Rave is holding Sym.

"Hi, Andi!" Sabi ni kuya Eros at binuhat si Andi. Andi laughed and kissed kuya's cheek. I glanced at Sym who's wearing sunglasses now. Natawa ako, feel na feel talaga ng batang 'to.

"Sym, say hi to your tita and tito." Sabi ko.

"Uncle." He smiled. Napailing ako. Kung magsalita at gumalaw si Sym ay parang matanda na. They're just turning 4.

Ate Rica kneeled in front of Sym so their eyes would level. Hindi ko naman alam kung saan nakatingin si Sym kasi naka shades siya. "Hi auntie." He said with his little voice.