The Orphan's Tale

Chapter 3

In the morning, O LORD, You hear my voice; at daybreak I lay my plea before You and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:3

Give ear to my words, O LORD; consider my groaning. Psalm 5:1

My first act, was to pray again, this time specifically for employment. God heard my prayer, and He answered it in a way that I had never expected. As it was 1800 there were scarcely any respectable jobs for women, and the places of employment that I tried wouldn't take me due to either my dismissal or my lack of experience. With neither reference nor connections, it would seem that the street was to be my permanent address.

My heart aching from betrayal and fear, my spirit groaned within me. There were no words to express my pain. At times all I could do was sigh, and try not to cry.

I was forced to depend on God to provide me with lodging and provisions. My heart was beating anxiously inside me as I clasped my hands together. I had been unable to find employment for several days and what little money I had saved, was now long since gone. Alone on a bustling street corner, I prayed again, pleading with God to make a way for me. Silently I prayed Psalm 30:8-10.

"To you, O Lord, I cry, and to the Lord I plead for mercy: "What profit is there in my death, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it tell of your faithfulness? Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, be my helper!"

I had lifted my prayer, and now all I could do was wait.

It was then I heard of a circus on the outskirts of town and an odd idea formed in my brain. I carried my carpet bag to the circus grounds, where the sound of an accordion was playing, my eyes scanned for whoever was in charge.

The circus was run by a Momma Ana, and her son, Jacko. Knowing I would do whatever work she gave me she was happy to hire me. Or perhaps it was her feeling pity for me, due to my anxious half-starved look as she called it.

Momma Ana told me that the circus never stops moving. "And if you're not here when we break camp, then we will leave without you. You're tasked, young one, to train and never stop. Make your act look as easy as possible. Each move is to look effortless to those watching. But never relax your guard, don't risk getting sloppy. We've lost members that way. No matter what happens you never let the audience see that you've made a mistake or that you're scared. Otherwise, you'll spoil everything! This circus is our way of life and our only source of income and if you ever threaten that, then I'll dump you back where I found you! Is that understood?"

"Yes, madame!"

Momma Ana was a tough woman with a voice that carried far, and a laugh that carried farther still but was heard more rarely. She was a head taller than I and built like a sturdy tower. Her face was full of lines of care, often falling into a wrinkled frown. And yet, I saw that she had not forgotten what it was to be a mother, for it was not rare of her to take in girls like myself that had nowhere else to go.

I once asked her how it was that she came to be in this line of work.

"Ah, that's a funny tale, young one," she said, looking thoughtful. "When little Jacko was but a babe his father died, and the pair of us soon ran out of money. I took to begging near the castle gate. And along comes these two gentlemen. I begged them for a few coins to feed my child.

One of them shook his stick at me and told me to be on my way, but the younger man paused. The older left, but the other gentleman turned to me.

"Why do you live like this? Haven't you anyone to take care of you?" he asked.