Suraya

prologue

ZAYYAD
I looked at my baby girl in my hand and smiled.
I was over joyed, I have finally become a father.
'She's not breathing' the nurse said.
I looked up and saw that she was talking about Ameena.
'What do you mean? Why are you still looking at me. Get the CPR! Or whatever thing you use to help!' I said, I gave my baby to another nurse and went to my wife's side.
I held her hand and prayed she would breathe. The oxygen mask wasn't helping either.
'Excuse me sir but I need to stand here to perform the CPR' doctor Macpherson said
I moved but I still held onto her. I couldn't lose her. Not after bringing our baby into the world.
Not now not ever. I prayed to Allah SWT to keep my wife still alive cause he knows I can't live a day without her.
I watched as they rubbed the stabilisers together and pumped my wife with it.
Once, twice, thrice. No chance of getting a pulse.
I prayed harder. And held her hand tighter. I felt like my whole world was clashing by.
After the fourth try and no luck. The doctor looked at me, the look telling me she's gone.
But I won't accept that. I pushed passed the doctors and nurses and pumped onto my wife's chest.
Silently crying, cause I promised her I wouldn't cry anymore, but this was just not bearable.
The doctors tried to pull me away but I couldn't. I just couldn't accept the fact that she was gone.
Ya Allah why?! Why?! What have I done? What has she done to leave life before even getting a glimpse our daughter?!
Why?! I cried still not wanting the tears to fall but I couldn't hold them anymore.
I left her chest and slumped into the chair in the room, head in my hands sobbing.
I shook my head thinking of all the good things that has happened ever since she came into my life.
We didn't fall in love. We were arranged.
At first, I hated her, I continued my bad deeds and whatnot.
But I can't remember what moved me to start asking her if she was okay?
She was always loyal to me, even the times I used to shout at her.
Now that we're in love. Ready to fight together, raise our children together.
She's dead. Gone. Puff. Just like that. May her soul rest in peace.
'Mr Muhammad, I'm sorry to interrupt but, would you want to see your baby?' A nurse asked.
I looked up and nodded, I couldn't trust my voice.
I followed her to the nursery. She stopped at a pink and white box with our names on it.
'Here we go, just keep the head in place and that's all' the nurse said giving me my baby.
'You can take a walk if you want to. Just don't talk long or too far so we could reach you in time to sign the paperwork' she said and with a nod, she left me.
I looked down at the sleeping baby in my hands and sighed.
I used my free hand to caress her slightly chubby cheeks and her small nose.
She looks just like Ameena, even though she is sleeping, I can tell she has her mothers eyes, nose and mouth.
I wish she can see her, just smiling at her and me.
'So what's going to be your name cupcake?' I asked rhetorically, touching her nose.
She sneezed and I smiled, 'just like your amma'