hold them closer [jaskier x reader]

Chapter 5

Night cascaded the sky around you — it wasn't nearly as dark as it was in the village you and Jaskier had been holed up in, but the city of Novigrad still had a way of surprising you. The torches only lit the streets enough to see a couple feet ahead of you, but the darkness was comforting. It made you wonder what Jaskier was doing right now, as you made your way towards Arnet's guild.

To say being back in Novigrad was strange would be an understatement. The nearer you got to the city, the worse your stomach churned. It reminded you of the months prior, of the incident with Rauf and Jaskier and how everything that you once knew seemed to fall apart.

But being completely honest, your life was better than it had ever been. You were happy, you felt safer — despite constantly fearing someone after you or Jaskier's head. But being with Jaskier did make you calmer, as Geralt noted. You weren't a machine like Rauf once saw you. You were just...you.

But now, with your cloak hood hiding your face as you wandered the alleyways of Novigrad, you felt more like your old self than you had in a while. The patch that you re-sewed into your cloak felt like it weighed a ton on the fabric, but still, you kept walking. Because you were going to get the information you needed, no matter the cost.

You rounded the corner on the street to Arnet's guild, slowing your steps as you neared the main entrance.

The last time you were here, Rauf had just died by your knife. His lifeless eyes still haunted your dreams, but being back in the city made you think you would see them around every corner.

You were glad when the door hatch opened before you, where a woman grimaced at your figure.

Silently, you flipped the collar of your cloak so the woman could see your patch.

"Y/N."

You weren't completely surprised that she knew who you were — you were more...unsettled.

Walking through the familiar guild had you internally cringing. Assassins all around were sharpening weapons, healing their wounds, hanging around. More than anything, you wanted to exterminate this guild just like your own. But you knew doing that, right now, wasn't the right choice. Until you found what you were looking for, these people would have to continue on killing others for nothing but coin. You hoped, at the least, that some of these people felt the heavy weight of guilt that you did.

But you doubted that.

As soon as you were lead to Arnet's room, he got up to greet you, "Y/N. It's a pleasure, as always."

You nodded, forcing a small smile on your face as he clapped his hand to your shoulder. "What do I owe this pleasure, child?"

You shifted under his gaze, swallowing the lump in your throat. Though you were far from being an assassin, you had the urge to stab him right there, to end both the suffering you were feeling and the suffering that he would inevitably bring to others — by his hand, or by the members of his guild. Instead, you shook it off, and cleared your throat.

"I have to be honest, Arnet. I didn't come to catch up."

Arnet nodded and walked over to the seating area in his room. "I figured as much. You were always a bit more serious than your uncle, though that isn't a bad thing."

The words stung you, but you masked it. "I came to ask about my mother."

"I can't say I know too much. Why do you ask?"

You froze. In all the time it took to come back here, you never really came up with a plan. You tried to, multiple times, but then would get distracted by other nerves. But in this moment, a conversation with Rauf entered your mind. It was after one of your visits to Arnet, when you were still too young to go on your own missions. Rauf was mostly talking to himself, but he spoke aloud: Arnet is a bit of a stubborn bastard. But he knows the sweet taste of revenge. The need for justice.