Conflicted (H.S)

Chapter 1

It was finally time to go home and I was so happy! I was in dire need of a good night sleep. Today was so busy, especially with the extensive amount of appointments I had at my photography studio. I started it myself about a year ago and it was getting more and more popular every day. It was so awesome and exciting to see the amount of people wanting photos but contrary to popular belief, it was incredibly tiring. At that point, all I wanted to do was go home and cuddle with Jesse.

I slowly pulled into my driveway, ecstatic to see Jesse. He moved in about a week ago and I couldn't be happier, it was so exciting seeing our relationship is developing. As I crossed the threshold into our home, all I heard was moaning. Quickly rushing down the hall, I feel the soft carpet floor brush against the soles of my feet. I halt in my tracks at the sound of higher pitched, breathless moaning.

“Oh-oh-hhhh Jesse… Ughhh…”

My hands wrapped around the doorknob and my heart shattered into a million pieces at the sight laid out in front of me. I stood there frozen. Suddenly, Jesse glanced up and spots my figure planted in the doorway, and his face instantly fell and filled with guilt and regret.

A faint “out” left my mouth in a whispery manner. No-one even moved an inch to breathe.

“I said… OUT” With that, the blonde quickly shuffled past me and out the door. Jesse scrambled to me, tripping over his feet but regaining his balance as he reached for me.

“Kira please let me explain…” He pathetically fell to his knees at the base of my converse clad feet.

“OUT” was all I could manage to say at this time, feeling the anger rising, my voice getting louder.

“But baby, please!”

“I SAID GET OUT, YOU MANWHORE!” Complete rage laced in my normally fragile voice.

I wanted to scream at him, tell him I hate him but I’m still lost for words. Our future that we had spent countless hours daydreaming about under the star-ridden London skies; marriage, kids, a nice house in Primrose Hill.

It was in this moment that I was truly grateful for the fact that Jesse had ignored my incessant nagging to unpack his belongings from the cardboard boxes still scattered around the room from the move.

Not five minutes later, I’m left in the bedroom by myself. The buckling in my knees became too much, and in a moment I found myself collapsed on the floor, my back leant against the foot of the bed that Jesse and that whore were fucking in.

At the sudden realization of this, I hoisted myself up from the floor, needing desperately to remove myself from the intoxicating scent of sex still floating around the room. The tears clouding my eyes made it incredibly difficult to navigate my way down the stairs and into the living room. Turning a slight left, my gaze landed on Jesse’s liquor cabinet. Immediately, my eyes zero in on the VERY expensive, untouched, bottle of Rare Breed he was given as a 21st birthday present from his parents.

That bottle was looking pretty good right about now…

Within a few strides, I was face-to-face with the bottle full to the brim with the amber liquid. What a perfect way to toast to a fucked up ending to the “perfect” four year relationship.

The alcohol singed my throat as it made its way into the pit of my stomach. As my feet lightly stumbled over themselves, I felt a buzzing sensation in my back pocket. Immediately recognizing it as my phone, I ignored it and debated throwing it out the window, knowing it was probably just going to be Jesse. I switched the stereo on and turned it up full volume. A loud humourless laugh escaped my lips at the realization of the song now blasting through my speakers.

Right now he’s probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp, and she’s probably getting frisky…

Taking another large gulp of Rare Breed, I began to belt out the chorus to the fitting tune.

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats…

I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires…

Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats…

I was too into the song to take any notice of the two brunette females standing in the entrance way of my house. I did take notice, however, of the fact that someone has disrupted my song.

With a scowl on my face, I took a sour glance at my best friend, Chelsea and her girlfriend, Kate. Kate also happened to be a loyal employee of mine at my studio, and if I hadn’t already lost every shred of dignity upon the discovery of my lovely ex-boyfriend being straddled by that blonde, I would probably be embarrassed.

“Kira…”

“Haven’t you heard of knocking?” the burn of the previously ingested alcohol evident in my throat.

“You obviously haven’t, considering we’ve been calling and knocking for the last half an hour!” Kate replied in a snappish manner. I should fire her for that. Chelsea would kill me though so I’ll just have to put up with it. Boo you, whore.

“Where’s Jesse?” Chelsea added in, her tone even shorter with me than Kate’s

“Probably getting his brains screwed out by the blonde I caught him with earlier,” I stated, taking a significant gulp from the bottle in my hand.

At this both girls froze and their faces fell in realization of their carelessness at my obvious distress as I’m not one to casually get drunk in the middle of a Friday afternoon. As soon as they’ve come to their senses, they immediately rush to my side, badgering me with useless questions that will get me nowhere on my quest to get shitfaced tonight to forget the sudden misfortune riddled in my love life.

“Oh, just shut the hell up. Five seconds ago you were ready to remove my head because I didn’t answer you and now you suddenly care. Stop caring and let’s go out,” the harshness in my voice silenced them instantly.

After quickly glancing at each other, they finally cast uneasy gazes at my position already halfway up the stairs.

“Get your butt back here RIGHT NOW, KIRA BAKER OR SO HELP ME GOD!” Chelsea’s surprisingly booming voice echoed throughout my house.