The Tides That Turn (ongoing)

Samuel: Chapter 1

I don't even know why I bother anymore. Mother is never satisfied and Papa is always gone. I seek solace near our reading window while I watch the last leaves fall. I dream of him, of her, as if we've met, yet here in this distant village that feels unbelievable. My life feels small and insignificant yet a distant feeling holds me here.

"Emma darling, please, the baby."

The baby's screams drowned out mother's pleas. Elle was so small. She needed me. The bottom of my gown brushed the dark worn wood as I made my way over to her. She lay in her bassinet, her face red and round eyes wet. She must be hungry, I thought. Her new baby smell grounded me as I held her close. She took the bottle quickly and within minutes she was once again sound asleep. I was only sixteen, raising an infant that was not mine. But mother said it was my duty as a woman.

The evening came and morning arrived, with it a list of errands. Winter was near and I was off to gather a few last items. Basket in hand I started for the market. Potatoes, flour, corn. Potatoes, flour, corn I repeated. I should have written it down. The market was small, but it was rich in pleasant individuals. Mrs. Martha greeted me with a wide grin, her belly large.

"Emma! Oh Emma. I have missed you" she half smiled half laughed. Her belly moved with her. I missed her too. I was too shy to admit it. Unknowingly I buried my face in her as she hugged me.

"I think it's a boy," I grinned. This was her first child and she wore it well. Her long red hair swayed at her waist and her big blue eyes shone brightly. I followed her into the store and began to look around.

"What brings you my love?" she asked. Suddenly I couldn't think.

"I've come for potatoes, flour and.." I trailed off. I really should have written it down. "Corn! Also corn." She placed both items into my basket and I began to find my coins.

"Here you go, don't worry about the charge." she smiled.

"But, wait. No I-" I didn't get to finish when the door flew open. Behind it stood a boy, tall with broad shoulders and dark brown eyes. I didn't recognize him.

"Mrs. Martha! I'm back! I'm back!" he trailed mud as he made his way over to us. The sack of potatoes he carried hit the ground with a thud while he wrapped his long arms around Mrs. Martha. I didn't recognize him as someone familiar. He must be a traveler, I thought to myself.

"Now, now Samuel, this is Emma," she grinned as she gestured towards me. His gaze turned towards me as he studied me.

"Hello Emma, my name is Samuel. How do you do." his smile was kind. I felt myself begin to smile as well. He was charming.

"The pleasure is all mine." I mustard as I half curtsied. I'd be lying if I wasn't a bit shy. He was still smiling when I looked up and I could feel Mrs. Martha's gaze upon me."Well I should be going, mother will be expecting me." I quickly stated. I didn't want to leave but his presence made me nervous. I gathered my belongings in fast fashion and thank Mrs. Martha for her generosity.

"Tell your mother hello for me, and give the babe a kiss for me as well. If I don't see you until spring, be safe." she said.

I began my walk back home basket in hand. I chastised myself for not being more ongoing in conversation. Truth is, I couldn't help it. 

The path up our hill was steep and tiresome. I could see mother at the door with Elle on her hip. She looked distressed. That didn't surprise me.

"Emma I-" she began. "I am leaving." her eyes were wide.

"Leaving?! What? Where? Why?" she ran inside. I dropped my basket and ran after her. "Mother, you said leaving?" I yelled. I watched her lay Elle in the bassinet and she picked up a bag and l stopped.

"Emma. Poppa is not returning. I cannot stay. I cannot." she began to cry.

"What do you mean he's not returning? What is going on?" I felt frantic as I desperately tried to get an answer out of her. I ripped the bag out of her hands while she continued to cry. "Mother, answer me!" I yelled firmly.

Her gaze lifted to meet mine. "Poppa was killed in a riot in Norwich. I am leaving to retrieve his body and I am not returning. I am not fit to be a mother. I am sorry. I have to go." her voice shook and her hands trembled as she reached down to grab her bag but I stopped her.

"You can't go Mother. What about Elle? What about me? We will go with you. I cannot be alone here." I fought my tears.

"You will be alright. We have rose you to be responsible and Elle seeks you more than me. Either way, I am leaving and you cannot come with me." she ripped the bag from my hands and stormed out. She hurried down the hill and I ran after her. Behind me I heard Elle's cries from the house and I halted. I watched as she reached the bottom and she climbed into a carriage. I stood frozen and numb. The carriage drove away. I am not sure how long I stood there but Elle began crying again and so I made my way back.

Inside the cottage, Elle was awake. Her large round eyes sought me and when she found me she sighed. I picked her up and wrapped her in a blanket, holding her close to me. I sat in my window and let my tears win. Sadness overtook me.