The Note

Chapter 18 Another One

Time has passed by awkwardly. I don't know if it has passed faster or slower than usual, but I know that it has become more difficult for me to keep track of time thanks to what happened to Max.

It happened two months ago, I think.

I'm not going to lie, I miss him, and yeah,I know that he turned out to be the complete opposite of what I once knew, but the feelings that I had for him are not going to vanish like they were nothing. I still need time to process all the information. I still need time to accept the fact that I wasted all these years into a relationship that would lead to nothing.

I need to embrace the emptiness that is taking control over me and deal with it.

And added to that emptiness, I'm not feeling well. Lately I have been feeling dizzy and out of my mind. Not in a way crazy people are out of their minds but, if I spaced out before, I space out the double now. It's really hard for me to focus on something for a long period of time. Maybe this is just my imagination playing a trick on me. Maybe I just caught a cold and I need to rest. Maybe stress has finally got into me and I need to take a day off.

Maybe I really need to get out of here.

-So here you are...

I was sitting cross-legged just in front of The Gates, right in the middle of the Main Road, when I heard a voice talking to me.

I knew who wasn't talking to me.

-Ben?-I said once I turned my head and saw Ben walking towards me- What are you doing here?

-Well,-he said while he was sitting down next to me on my right- I wanted to talk to you and to thank you...

-Thank me? For what?-it was really weird to hear somebody thank me these days.

-For what you've done for Maddison...-he said with a sad tone in his voice.

I looked at him.

-I've done nothing but-

-You did everything...-he said looking at me- You did all you could to save her and I can't be any happier with what you did to Elaine...

We both giggled a little bit at the memory of that moment.

-She deserved that, and even more, for what she did to Maddison...-he said.

-Wait a second, why are you so happy about that?-I asked- Isn't Elaine your friend?

-I never really liked her,-he said- I just talked to her when I couldn't avoid her...

-Well, that's a good thing to know...

I sighed and started to look again through The Gates. They were huge doors made with green wires, so looking at the Outside World through them was something easy to do.

-I like her.

I looked at Ben again and he was looking at the Outside World too.

-What are you-

-I've liked her for a long time,-he said- I can't pretend that I was happy when I heard about her and Leon but, if she was happy... Well, I was happy too...

-Ben, I... I don't want to hear this...

I already felt guilty to what happened to Leon and Maddison, and now knowing that I also hurt Ben...

-But I wasn't happy when Leon died...-he continued.

-Ben, stop...-I said.

-And when I found out about Maddy... Well...