Parlor Tricks

Chapter 34

"Where should I start?" Hank murmured as he kissed the crown of Josie's head as she nestled into his chest.

"I always recommend the beginning."

"Oh, the beginning. Well, I was born on a hot July day in 1981..."

Josie lifted her wide eyes to meet Hank's, causing him to snap his mouth shut.

"Hank Carroll, was that a joke?"

"If you have to ask, it was a poor showing." Josie settled back into Hank's chest as he began again. "When you first got here, I thought you were some nefarious apparition."

"Apparition?" A chuckle jerked from her chest.

"Yeah. What is it that Ebenezer says? A morsel of undigested cheese." He let his lips slip to her head again briefly. "You were just there out of nowhere and far too familiar."

"Mmhmm, I've been accused of worse, but certainly, greeted better."

"Yeah, all the little things that make you enthralling started as..."

"Annoying?" Josie giggled.

"That would be the best word, I suppose. I was even worried about leaving you with Clara at one point."

"What did you think I would do?"

"Oh, I don't know. The thoughts of an irrational man are not worth attempting to unravel. It was more your intent that worried me. Your entry was not accidental. Clara seemed much more fragile then."

Hank's mind sputtered on Clara. He had seen glimmers of her delicateness recently, but what he had previously misread as delusion and frailty had clearly been loneliness.

"Don't stop," Josie whispered as she let her fingertips dance across his chest, pulling him back from himself.

"I was thinking about Clara. I always thought she had slipped from reality when my dad died."

"And now?"

"Now I think I was the one that slipped from..." Hank pondered a bit more. "Everything, I suppose. When you arrived and listened to her, especially to the stories of my father, it breathed new life into her."

"She is a fascinating woman. I could tell the moment I met her we were going to be thick as thieves."

"What did you think of me?" Nerves cracked his voice.

Hank felt the corners of Josie's lips tip on his chest and hoped she couldn't hear the stutter of his heartbeat as it would indeed reveal his nerves.

"You were intimidating," she began tentatively. "I knew I could get under that thick skin of yours; I just didn't come close to knowing what I would find." Hank felt his lips tip-up. "But you were selfless from the beginning, willing to look at the car, a place to stay. You were just so in your own mind; it was hard to read you."

"I'm sorry," Hank apologized often.

"Then, in the garden, when you focused on keeping me warm, I knew you were a good man, Hank, even if you were trying to hide from it." Hank felt Josie slip from the frivolity of romance. "I am sorry I stirred this up for you."

Hank let the apology blow over him; forgiving guilt clung to her words. "Hey," he soothed while shifting her so he could see her face. "You're the best thing to happen to the Carrolls in decades." She gave him a passive smile, as though to say it was sweet but untrue. "Josie, I've told you I love you and I mean it. I didn't think it was possible for me; loneliness felt like my destiny. I had settled it in my mind, and then, here you are."

Josie settled back into his chest as he smoothed her hair absently. "Hank," Josie's voice was cautious. "If I asked you to drop it, to focus on us, on the life we could have together. Would you?"

Hank thought for a moment, "I suppose I would try." Hank could feel the beating of his heart in his ears, fearing what would come next. "Are you asking?"

"No, it wouldn't be fair of me to ask that of the man I love." His mind hardly processed the no.

"Josie..."

"Mmhmm."

"Did you just... do you..." Hank continued to choke on his words.

Josie propped her chin upon his chest. "I love you, Hank." Hank's heart stopped for a moment as a high-pitched buzzing zipped through his ears. "Hank?" He felt her hand cup his face. "I didn't think you could get paler."

He snapped back to her, pulling her along his body so he could reach her lips. "I don't know what to do with myself," he murmured before letting his lips meet hers.

After a few enduring kisses, Josie pulled away. "I'd say your instincts are suiting you well." She settled back into his chest. "But I promised not to distract."

"Oh, we are well beyond distraction."

"Focus, Hank."

"I'm focused; it would be ungentlemanly to not linger on a beautiful woman falling for a homely malcontent like me."

"Homely malcontent," there was a teasing jeer in Josie's voice.

"Too generous?" Hank teased back.

"We'll work on perception another night."

Hank sunk back into the pillows, knowing and dreading the direction the conversation was taking. "I don't know the path." The words felt heavy with honesty. "I've been analyzing it all day, and all routes lead to Peter."

"And you can't be content with what you already know?"

"No. I can't be satisfied if the truth could come out and hurt you."

"But you are forcing the truth."

Hank sighed. This had been the thorn in his thoughts all day. "I keep coming back to being in control of the truth. If it rears unexpectedly, something unforeseen could happen."

"And what about Clara? Are you going to tell your mother? What if you force the truth, and it stirs things up for her?"

"It will clear him; it would settle things."

"Hank, drudging this up again will relive it again; even if the reasons are to vindicate your father, it won't bring him back."

Hank heavily sighed, knowing she was correct; it wouldn't change that past; Henry would still be dead, and the last 20-years would remain unchanged.

"What are you thinking?" Josie nudged through his thoughts.

"That you might be right."

Josie pulled herself up to Hank's face. "Luckily, we don't have to decide tonight." She gave him a tender kiss. "We'll dig through it again tomorrow night." She added as she returned to his chest.

"Good night, Josie."

Hank gave her head a last kiss before slumping deeper into the bed. His mind didn't linger on Peter and the questions at hand. Instead, his thoughts floated to Josie, choosing him, loving him.