Tsunayoshi

three

❝ THE CURIOSITY OF A DIFFERENT GENDER ❞

...

With her first birthday approaching, she had watched as her mother practically glowed after a particular phone call.

She stared at her sparkling mother before frowning, "Kaa-chan?"

"Tsu-kun! Your papa's coming home!" Her mother laughed.

Papa. Her father. Oh, so the man isn't dead but rather absent from her life. He probably worked in a long distant area, finally coming home for the first time in god knows when — since she was born, perhaps?

Tsunayoshi frowned as she took in that situation for a little bit, despite having a father, her mother was essentially raising her as a single mum.

"Papa?" Tsunayoshi repeated, even the word sounded foreign in her mouth.

Her mother picked her up and danced a little, twirling her around. "That's right, Tsu-kun. Papa is always so busy but he said he'll be able to make it to your first birthday! Isn't that great, Tsu-kun?"

I suppose. Tsunayoshi merely smiled and laughed along with her mother, clapping along as she wished to join in with the festive mood. This made her mother even more radiant, looking like the sun had just graced their house with its godly presence.

"Shall I go invite some of my friends to your birthday party, Tsu-kun? Most of them don't have children... Hm, I think maybe I'll invite some people around the neighbourhood?" Her mother mused, placing her in the baby chair located at the dining table.

Tsunayoshi shifted uncomfortably in the chair before finally relaxing when she got a nice spot, she turned to look at her giddy mother who was all but dancing around the kitchen.

"A party! Tsu-kun, a party!" Her mother laughed. "A welcome home party for my husband and your papa, along with your first birthday party. Isn't that nice?"

Well, her mother was certainly very happy.

Tsunayoshi gave a beaming smile at her mother, wanting to convey how happy she was as well. Despite everything, it is nice to finally meet her father. She wondered if he loved her as much as her mother did, Tsunayoshi hoped so. She wanted to be greedy and hog all the warmth parents could give.

"Papa face?" Tsunayoshi asked, still not that well adverse in speaking the language regardless of how proficient she was in listening to it.

Her mother, however, knew exactly what she meant every time she spoke. "Papa has beautiful blond hair and the most wonderful eyes, he's charming and sweet. When he smiled at you, it's as if all your troubles would fly away."

Oh, he does sound nice. Tsunayoshi nodded, listening to her mother sigh wistfully.

She knew that despite everything, her mother probably missed her father a lot. Her mother set the baby food down in front of her — it tasted weird, really, like a mixture of blended vegetables and sand — and set her own food down as well.

"Are you happy for your first birthday, Tsu-kun? You're going to be a big boy now!" Her mother smiled.

Tsunayoshi choked on his baby food, hacking and coughing much to his mother's horror and confusion. She held him up, cleaning him up while softly voicing her concerns.

Tsunayoshi stopped heaving after a while, feeling the burn in his throat. His mind easily slipping into a different gender identity while still thinking the words over.

He hadn't heard it wrong, had he? His mother had referred to her as a big boy, a boy.

Which begs the question, how bad had his observational skills slipped down to that it took a whole year for him to realise his gender?

"Are you okay, Tsu-kun? Oh dear, maybe I should change the brand," His mother fretted. "Should I start making my own baby food instead? Who knows what they put in those premade packages, even if your father was the one who sent them over. Tsk."

"Kaa-chan," Tsunayoshi called out, reaching to hug his mother. "Tsunayoshi happy. Kaa-chan no sad."

"Hm, I'm not sad, just a little angry at the product," His mother said. "Don't worry, Tsu-kun. Kaa-chan will make sure you get better food from now on."

"Tsunayoshi smile," he said, smiling at his mother. He patted her cheeks softly, "Kaa-chan smile?"

His mother laughed joyfully, "You love your name, don't you, Tsu-kun?"

"Sawada Tsunayoshi," he said, nodding in agreement. Because it was a beautiful name, the first one he had in centuries. His very own identity, solely his to keep.

His mother smiled, "Do you want to know about your namesake, Tsu-kun?"

Oh, wow, he had a namesake? Amazing. Tsunayoshi nodded reverently, desperate to hear about the one he was named after. His mother sat down at the dining table chair, still hugging him before beginning to speak.

"Tsunayoshi... was a Tokugawa Shogun. A commander in chief of feudal Japan," His mother started, voice soft yet full of love. "He was a ruler, you could say, as he held the title before feudalism was established. He had an older brother named Ietsuna and loved dogs."

"Puppy?" Tsunayoshi asked, tilting his head.

His mother nodded, "Oh yes, Tokugawa Tsunayoshi loved dogs so much that his unofficial title was the Dog Shogun. He had a dog too, one he named Takemaru."

Takemaru, a rather big name for a dog. Tsunayoshi continued to listen, enjoying stories his mother weaved about the Shogun instituting protection laws for animals, having a brother named Ietsuna who was five years older, being born to a concubine named Otama, of poisons and children, and much more behind the man whom everyone knows today as fifth Shogun of the Tokugawa Dynasty.

By the time the stories were nearly finished, Tsunayoshi was pretty much lulled into a deep sleep by the soothing voice of his mother. He rested in her embrace, sleeping peacefully while his dreams were filled with battles of Tokugawa Tsunayoshi. A field, bloodshed, along with the beauty and horrors of war.

When Tsunayoshi woke up, he woke up to the sound of his mother shouting. Albeit it was soft, he could strain his ears to listen to the shouts of his mother. Balancing on the crib, he listened to the conversation going on with a slight frown on his face.

"You told me you could be here! This isn't about me, this is about our son. He's turning one and he hasn't seen you since he was three months old! And you're telling me, last minute, despite arriving in Japan that you have other business to handle? What type of construction- DON'T PATRONISE ME."

"If you can't come home then FINE, don't come home," His mother choked a little bit here, sounding on the verge of tears. "I can handle you being away but if you don't come back soon, don't blame me when our son refuses to recognise you."

"GOODBYE!" Then, the phone was slammed down.

Tsunayoshi frowned very prominently now, understanding what was going on. It seems that his father will not be attending his first birthday after all, despite all the promises of coming home. Tsunayoshi realised that his mother was probably going to cry and then come over once she finished.

His father was a horrible man, Tsunayoshi decided before he had even reached the age of one.

Edited - 20/08/2023