INDECISIVE • KNY

Nine

All around you, an invincible saviour of human entities and living beings surrounded and embraced everyone without a single thought, leaving fleeting and faint touches on skin as your eyelashes kissed your pale cheeks, lips pursed together tightly as the giver of life wrapped you in a tight hold that left you shivering. Your eyes are clenched together in a desperate attempt to fully understand the words that had left the demon's lips only a few moments ago.

"Understand air."

Your brows are knitted together as you sit cross-legged on the grass-covered land, the weeds tickling your skin as the silent lull of crickets bounced off the looming trees, the sound finding its way to your ears as a bead of sweat roll down your skin, like a droplet of rain falling from the heavens and unto a leaf, slowly traveling towards a lake where it will soon be embraced, existence swallowed whole.

Air kept you alive, it entered your nose and gave you life, filling your lungs like stardust as your heart beat rapidly against your chest, slamming against bones frantically as you clench your fists, the seed of frustration growing within yourself for the trivial words that the six-eyed demon expects you to unravel without trouble. You're a child, you're a child, you're a child— the thought is repeated, trapped in a cycle of rage and irritation before a hand touches your shoulder.

"Don't dig your grave. Soar towards your goal."

His voice is low, words whispered but the silence of the night assures that it can be heard but unanswered queries still linger in your mind. The sky is vast, the future is far away from you and you are nothing but a measly human bound to the land, your feet will always be planted on the ground and though yearning for the northern heavens lies within you— what is there to reach? What is there to gain when you know nothing of what your goal is? What drives you? What is there to soar for?

"Let go of your worries."

Gritting your teeth together, your jaw clenches as you nod your head curtly, attempting to ease yourself of the bothersome concern you hold for everything.

Embrace the air, you remind yourself as you inhale slowly, chest rising before breathing out through your lips.

Let go, you think as you loosen your fingers swiftly, your mind drifting away from the forest that encircles you as you begin to concentrate on the presence of Kokushibō, his form standing in front of you as he awaits your success, patience in his eyes, you focus on his breathing, the pattern of his inhale and the second intervals before he exhales.

Your toes curl painfully as you brace your lower half, grounding yourself to the earth before taking a long and sharp inhale. You accept your fate as someone who can never truly reach the residence of celestial beings, telling yourself to not dwell on the impossibility of a possibility. Live in the moment, embrace the present, look forward for tomorrow— then, your lungs feel like they're about to explode as your blood boils under your skin and although the night breeze is cold, your body is trapped within a heat that makes you double up, your arms circling your abdomen as you gasp.

You slowly crumble, tears welling in your eyes as you cough, desperately trying to regain your breath as you choke on your saliva, your throat feels unbearably hot whilst Kokushibō embraces you, his cold and pale skin is comforting, you seek his frigidity as he offers you a cup of water. Your fingers shoot up to grab a hold of the wooden object, hurriedly tilting your head backwards to drink the liquid.

"I'm— I'm sorry! I'll try again, I'll do better, I promise!"

You manage to speak, hot tears streaming down your face as your cheeks are tainted a light red in a mixture of frustration and humiliation. Your lungs hurt and your stomach stirs in pain and as you're about to speak again, lips parting, you wheeze and afterwards, gag which steals your breath away, leaving you gasping for oxygen to return to you.