Girl Crush

It's Tough

It was really hard to see them together kissing, hugging, and just doing everything that me and him were never allowed to do in public without getting in trouble. We weren't, and still aren't, allowed to let anyone know about us because it could "hurt the band reputation if we were openly together". They don't understand that when you are with somebody, nothing anyone does should tear you apart especially if you are soulmates like me and Louis are. But that apparently isn't true from what I have seen. I just wish we could have been what they are now.

"I wanna taste her lips
Yeah cause they taste like you
I wanna drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume"

Then he went along and got Briana pregnant which made him start spending more time taking care of her and going to see Freddie after he was born and once again leaving no time for me. I just wish I could somehow get his attention like that.

"I want her long blonde hair
I want her magic touch
Yeah cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much
I got a girl crush
I got a girl crush"

After the whole baby situation was solved and taken care of, he went back to Eleanor and spent all his time with her once again. Throughout all this he never talked to me and didn't make an effort to have me come over to see Freddie or Clifford or anything. This killed me and kept me up all night for days on end just thinking about how we never will turn out how we wanted to because of management. It's not fair that just because she's a girl, they can do whatever they want whenever they want and nothing is stopping them like it was when it was me and him.

"I don't get no sleep
I don't get no peace
Thinking about her
In between your bedsheets"

I see the way he looks at her versus how he looks at me. The way he acts differently around me compared to her. I wish we could've ended up together but he seems to have caught a special relationship with El so if i tried to get him back, it would be useless.

"The way that she's whispering
The way that she's pulling you in"

My dreams used to be about us and how happy we were and how we thought nothing could tear us apart. Now all I dream about, when I get sleep, is how we would've turned out if she wouldn't have came in your life. Other times I dream of me as her and feeling that amazing feeling that is being with you.

"Lord knows I've tried
I cant get her off my mind"