Everything I Do - RiKara SS

22

Chapter 22

Real
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That storm had taken with it the doubts and insecurities that lingered between them, or their hesitating old selves completely. Ri felt new, as much as the world around her – the pain of the past one month felt a distant nightmare – one that still woke her up in the wee hours of the morning. She jerked awake, a startled scream dying inside her throat as she took in her surrounding. 
Beside her Omkara stirred awake – he still had his arm around her waist – she noted dimly. It was a newly formed habit, one that she was starting to love. Trying to calm her breathing, she rubbed a hand over her heart and turned to offer him a watery smile. 
“Bad dream – it’s okay. Go back to sleep,” unable to stop herself she brushed off the strands of hair that covered his face. He caught that hand and kissed her knuckles, all the while holding her gaze concernedly. 
“I know you’re going to stand at the window as soon as I doze off,” he told her knowingly, and sat up leaning against the pillows. “When will you stop trying to hide things Ri?”
“Hmm –“ she hummed, eyes lit with sudden mirth. “When concealer runs out?” 
The words drew his eyes to the base of her neck, visible through the loose shirt she was wearing, the dim light bright enough to distinguish the dark bite against her pale skin. Still he lost himself to the desires she arouse within him and ended up being carelessly insistent. His love continued to hurt her – Omkara thought frowning. Ri sighed and her fingers tried to smooth off the creases from his forehead. 
“Don’t scowl– you look like a villain from some old Hindi movie,” she chuckled at the dark look he gave her and caressed his jaw, cuddling against him wordlessly. As if from practice his arm wound around her shoulders, holding her close to him and he dropped a kiss on her hair. 
“You should stop me at times –“ his tone was solemn when he started to speak once more. “When I lose control.”
“But I like it that way,” she ran her fingers idly, tracing his abs and making his insides simmer with need once more. “I don’t want you to hold back – I want you, the real you, with all wild, dark traits.”
“How can you love something I hate?” He didn’t sound guilty anymore, just curious and a little breathless. Ri smiled a faintly, knowing it was her effect on him and her hand stopped its trail right over his heart. 
“Perhaps I’m crazy – You know they called me Nut in college? It goes both ways – one I’m small framed, two I’ve lost my marbles,”  her laughter died to a chuckle and drowned in silence. Omkara turned to look at her, as she slid off from their side hug. Ri was lying on her pillows, staring at the ceiling with a far away look. 
“Why did you do that?” Finally he wondered out loud. She did not look at him and the darkness gave him the courage to continue. “Why me, not him?”
“That night – at the lantern festival,” she spoke suddenly. “You went off knowing Aditya was there, right?”
Omkara didn’t reply and Ri sighed rolling to her stomach and propping up her chin on her elbows – looking up at him. 
“You treated me as an equal – someone who could take a decision for herself. You always have. I’m not some wonderful female Omkara, I’m as self centered and twisted as they come. I’d better spend my life with a man who treats me like a woman – not a doll. I choose you, because you gave me a right to choose.”
“He won’t give up,” he said slowly.
“Does that bother you?” She sounded tensed suddenly. Omkara leaned over and kissed her on her forehead, letting his lips linger on her skin a moment longer than necessary. She relaxed against his touch, her hands coming up to caress his stubble. 
“No.”
“I’m not going to give him some filmy lecture about how I have changed my mind, how I’ve finally found true love. ‘Cause my love for him had been true too and I’d have been happy had I married him. But – I don’t love him anymore. I can’t love him again – not when I know he tossed me away to keep his father happy. Not when I know the extent of damage he caused – I know he won’t understand it now – Aditya never had much concern about others. But I’m over him, over that chapter of my life. He’ll realize it slowly, on his own. I don’t want to force him into acceptance.” He didn’t say anything and she sighed. “There’s something else you should know –“ her voice was suddenly cautious. “I called Shivay –“
“What?”
“I didn’t tell him where we were – I just wanted him to know Annika Bhabhi had nothing to do with leaking that clip. Adi ki chakkar mein their relationship shouldn’t get complicated.”
Omkara sighed, knowing even if Ri had not disclosed their location, it would only take a split second for Shivay to track the call – if he wants to. But he believed his brother would understand his need of isolation – not to do that. Instead he turned and watched his wife, as she fiddled with a lock of her hair, waiting for his response. His shirts looked too good on her – he thought distractedly, their dark colors contrasting against her pale skin. She looked at him curiously as the pause stretched longer. 
“Kya dekh rahe ho?”
“Tum,” he said seriously, his hands cupping her face. “I want to make a sculpture of you.”
“Kiyun?”
“Because you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known.”
“And why is that? I’m sure Annika Bhabhi is very strong too – and your mom, even Choti mom is –“
He shook his head, touching her lips with his finger, stopping her in mid sentence. 
“They all are – but their love weakens them, makes them do things they don’t want to. They are afraid of living without love. Not you, not your love – you don’t need a man Ri, but a man needs a woman like you.”
“You mean a man like you?”
“Yes,” he agreed thoughtfully, a thumb lazily running over her lower lip. “A broken man like me.”
**