The Fault In Us

Chapter 1

My mother knew I was depressed for a long time. (Life is depressing. No one never knew why I was so depressed. I ate like a bird and read the same book over and over. A Bird's Crescendo was the only thing I looked forward to in this waste of a life.) She always encouraged me to be this social ecstatic butterfly, I was humored by the thought. She takes me to the banquet hall where a group of troubled teens express themselves through speaking in a circle. I didn't have the heart to tell her how lame it is, I was already a big enough disappointment. "My people we are in a safe place." Richard motioned to the spray painted rug in the middle of the circle that actually said the word safe. Richard is the head leader of the group, about 28 years old, hipster wanna-be. He got stuck here doing this for community service, but after two years he felt like it was his duty to lead the way for troubled teens. He also looks nonchalant way too much when someone calls him dick for laughs.

"I'd like to welcome our new member Serena Bellow." A girl stood up.

"Sorry to disappoint, Richard. I'm just here for the moral support of my dear friend, Mr. James Cameron." The lanky red-headed boy, who I took a liking to as he thought this circle was lame also, stood and bowed as a king would. The circle clapped politely for them. The duo sat down and Richard began to drone on about stuff I didn't care for and my eyes landed on radiant green ones that were already staring back at me. Her eyes never left mine with a smug look on her face. "Serena?" Serena's eyes flickered to Richard and our staring contest was over. In a way I felt triumphant.

"Hmm?"

"What are your greatest fears?" Richard repeated.
Serena stood up and dusted off her jacket and spoke.

"My greatest fears? Uh I don't have any."

"We all have fears." I didn't know who said it until I realized I was stood up too. My heart was pumping loudly in my chest watching her watch me. She is truly mesmerizing.
Richard looked almost giddy behind his hipster glasses and stoic face seeing me interact with someone. I breathed in a deeply. "You're greatest fears are nothing to be ashamed of. They're meant to be acknowledged and be faced because your fear itself is actually scarier than the physical fear."
She turned and looked at me for longest time that my face began to heat up.

"And what are your greatest fears?" She asked me.

"Rejection," I looked to Richard and the rest of my peers and smiled. "It's even hella scary talking right now because the fear of rejection eats you alive, but I'm speaking right now and it makes me feel a little better. I know it's going to be okay." I didn't expect a standing ovation, or anything. That's what happened. I was gathered in a group hug and for once I felt loved. My name being chanted did nothing, but make my heart swell. Gosh, I'm such a human. These feelings are gross. "Let him breathe, guys." Thank god for Richard.

I turned to the crowd and waved goodbye, sheepishly. There's only so much of group therapy I can take. I bump into someone and quickly apologize, holding onto each other for balance. "Watch where..." Serena cursed. She stared at me intently. Her eyes so green up close, so vivid, so alive. A small smile split onto her face. "You owe me a cig." She looked down to the cigarette I stepped on. "Sorry." I apologized again.

"It's a nasty habit anyways."

Her smile grew wider, seeing my large hands swallowing her tiny leather-clad biceps. I lowered my hands feeling blood rush to my pale cheeks. She chuckled.

"You're kind of cute, Ni. I'm Serena." She raises her arm to shake hands. I grasp her warm hand and shake it, trying my best not to blush. She's gorgeous. "I know who you are," I reply. She laughs, darkly. "No. No you don't." She shakes her head, her silky waterfall hair swaying from side to side.

She never explained what she meant by that and I never asked. It's like an unspoken agreement we had with our eyes. She took my hand in hers, entwining our fingers. She asked me if I was okay with it. I was more than okay with it, but I only smiled and nodded.