Faded Dreams

Faded

I always wondered why people wanted to fade away
That was until I experienced it myself .

Fading away is not dulling the lights
Fading away is going away forever .

Sometimes I feel selfish .
Because I hear these thoughts in my head .

These thoughts in which a person that seems so happy , funny and untroubled shouldn't think .

I have these thoughts of fading away .
Every time there comes a new day I feel a peice of me slowly fading away .

I guess it's the way our human mortality is ..
One day your yourself , then the next day your not .

As once a fellow rocker has faded quoted " I have a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be , full of love and joy "

I see his point in this statement .
When you look back at yourself , and look at a person today that person reminds you of who you used to be .

Why must are Brain do this to us?
How come people say change is good?
Then why do I feel so horrible that I changed ?

Maybe it was good for a little while ..
Maybe I thought that there still would be something in me staying .

Or maybe I changed because of the people around me never said it , but they wanted me too..

I came to a realization recently .
I changed because I wanted to .
I regret it , but then again I don't .

I regret having too much friends , which I was not used to because I was always the quite one ..which was good because the moment I let someone in ..I let in the devil of all pains . I too became the devil . I lost myself to the point where I don't know who I am anymore .

It's hard to find yourself , when you have to be a different person for everyone . Your stuck in this illusion that everyone you created is truly you . But your old self is forever faded..maybe I should've stopped ..but my emotions and power got the best of me .

Now I leave you with this quote ..this quote in which I found lurking in the sky with no owner , " you can't choose what stays and what fades away ".