Later Stranger

Chapter 2

The window across the room remained open. Its curtains dance against the wind, swaying along with the visible treetops. Koji laid down on his side, sighing whenever the breeze touches his face.

He remembered Minho, his friendly neighbor from earlier, and for whatever reason, he's washed over by a sense of serenity, something that was almost alien to him, not having felt it for so long. But then he recalled what Mico wrote on the last page of the journal. The pleasant sensation went away as fast as it came.

His feet touched the floor when he sat down on the bed. It looks like he'll be breaking his promise to himself to sleep tonight. Koji got up and took the notebook he had placed inside the drawer. He sat near the window under the passing moonlight. Koji took a deep breath and began reading.
Hello,
X played a song today. For a moment I really thought it was for me. But why would it be? It's for his girlfriend. His long time girlfriend. Don't you just hate it when this happens? I want to hate her but I can't. It's me that I hate. I wish the song was for me. I wish those smiles and laughs were for me. I wish it was all for me. And I wish I could stop hating myself for wishing those things. -M.R.

Hello,
I need help. I like X. -M.R.

Hello,
I'm doing my best to distance myself from him. The project is nearly over. Our partnership will be over too by then. I should try and get used to living my life, like before, without him. -M.R.

Hello,
I cried today. I didn't know who to turn to. I don't know what to do. - M.R.

Hello,
I spoke to my friends. I apologized. I told them everything about X. They knew. I felt a little relief. - M.R.

Hello,
I saw them together. They look happy. - M.R.

Koji felt his heart painfully throb.

Eighteen years, this was written that long ago. The worn-out pages and the faded ink was a testament to that. The year was 2020 then and yet this journal still managed to hurt him like this all happened yesterday.

It must have been difficult for Mico, he wrote all of this since he had no one to talk to. Koji knew Mico was afraid, of his own feelings, and of himself. Writing a journal may have been his only way to vent out and feel seen or heard. Koji stood up wanting to shake the numbing sensation on both his legs. He suddenly thought of going for a walk. The night may have been peaceful but Koji's mind is anything but that. He wanted to lay down on the bed and stare into nothingness like he did so many nights before, perhaps a change in scenery may do him wonders.

He could hear the sole of his slipper grind the pebbles beneath his feet as he walks down the street. He sighed. If only the clouds hadn't blocked out the sky, Koji would have seen the stars, it might have eased up his emotions a little. He stopped at the vending machine, inserted a bill, and chose a cold drink he had no plan on drinking. The sensation on his hand just felt nice. Koji just wanted to feel something else other than what he was currently feeling. Mico's journal may have triggered him. He sat on the bench beside the vending machine.

It has always been like this Koji, an endless cycle of push and pulls of his emotions. Just filled up to the brim but never really letting it overflow, always a drop away from bursting.

He couldn't get Mico's words out of his head. It echoed and reverberated all over him. Maybe he went through the same thing he did, Koji thought to himself. He was certain, Mico R, whoever he is, would understand him. He would like to ask him a sea of questions.

"Hey.."

A few feet away was a pleasantly surprised Minho, in his pajamas, holding a paper bill Koji could only assume was for the machine full of cold drinks. Koji extended his arms with the drink in hand.

"For me?" Minho pointed to himself in which Koji nodded. He happily took the can from Koji and sat beside him.

"Why are you still up so late?"

Before Koji could even think of an answer Minho already responded to him.

"Oh yeah. You don't want to talk." Minho uttered somewhat awkwardly.

Koji decided to remain silent. The words and things he wanted to say were on the tip of his lips begging to be let go of.

"There used to be a food stall on this lot. Pretty unusual for its location in the middle of this neighborhood." Minho began telling a story to pass the time. "They sold ramen in the afternoon until midnight. I remember they used these little lanterns to lit up this vacant lot."

Koji looked around the dark area behind them, imagining how lively it might have been from Minho's story.

"I remember running around here after school." Minho smiled bitterly.

"The ramen was delicious too. My friends-" Minho paused. Koji noticed the slight change into discomfort hidden in his eyes. "My friends and I used to love it here."

Did Mico like living here too? Did he also taste the ramen Minho was telling him? Did he ever bring X in here too like how Minho brought his friends along?

It was difficult to imagine memories that had already escaped. Koji knew this way too well.

Minho opened the can and began drinking it. He wanted to finish it as soon as he can to leave Koji alone. He felt like he might have been too intrusive enough for one day. With a few remaining swigs inside the can, Minho stood up to leave.

"Sorry, I rambled on." He smiled meekly at Koji.

"I'll leave you alone, now."

Koji wanted to say something, anything. Minho turned his back behind him and as he took a step he felt a hold on tip of his hand.

He looked back at Koji, both are surprised by the sudden gesture.

Minho nodded and sat back down again. He took a gulp on the can drink to hide the smile hanging on his lips.