reddie reunited

part one

it was finally over. IT was gone and everything should go back to normal now, right? saying goodbye to the losers was extremely hard, considering we were missing 2 idiots of course but not just that, there was a strong feeling of jealousy that wouldn't go away. everyone could go back to normal, back to someone... but not me, not the trashmouth. it wasn't that i was afraid of love, or had a hard time finding it, i had fallen in love once but i never gave up hope on that love. yeah i had other crushes but my mom always used to say that when you fall in love, you'd know the difference and it would feel... right. wise words maggie. just tell me this though, how was i meant to believe that when my whole life i was told that it was wrong to love him? i knew i loved him since the moment i laid eyes on him but i couldn't tell anybody that, never, i just couldn't. doesnt matter! i could just cover it up with jokes about my non-existent wife or eddie's mom! eddie. god.

as i drove to the airport i couldn't stop thinking about eddie, well, he hadn't been off my mind since the moment mike called me, but now, the thoughts weren't as happy.
"why him, why my eddie?"
"why wouldn't he take me instead?"
"was it my fault?"
"did he ever love me?"
no, don't say that richie, of course he didn't, he would never love someone like you and let's not forget the fact that he was married... god did i hate that woman. why would he marry someone as disgusting as her? what made me the most mad though, was that eddie proposed to her. my eddie? proposing? that had been my dream since 2nd grade and she took it from me. god i hated her so much.

without even realising it, i had drove to the kissing bridge. i remembered going there as a kid after bowers trashed me for playing street fighter with his dumb cousin. i stared at the entrance like a lost kitten as tons more memories came flooding back.

*flashback*
i decided to ride my bike to mine and eddies special spot. we decided that since we were the closest to eachother, we should have our own hang out spot that only we could know about. we came up with the perfect place, the large willow tree by the quarry, eddie had always loved that tree, he said it was romantic. did that mean anything? i pedaled as fast as i possibly could, praying to god that he would be there too. i wiped away the tears that were forming in my eyes while the wind blew in my face. i spotted ed's slumped against the tree, he waved cheerfully until he saw my red puffy eyes, a look of worry soon grew onto his face. i threw my bike to the ground as i ran over and broke down into eddies arms. he held me in the most comforting way. he was always so warm and i felt so safe around him. i really did love this boy. we stayed that way for a couple minutes until my sobbing slowed down and i got my breath back.

a tear rolled down my cheek at the thought as i felt some sort of presence. it was almost as if eddie was there, right next to me, telling me to get out the car and re-carve our initials. without hesitation, i got out the car and walked over the fence. there i spotted the 27 year old R+E carved into the plank of wood. i heard the faint voice of eddie whisper "i'm really gonna miss you rich"
i felt my heart shatter as i remembered the last day eddie and i spent together.

his voice, it sounded so real. god, please say it was real, please say you're standing right behind me eds, please say this is just a nightmare, i can't live without you eds. please.

i turned my head with a slight shard of hope, that he really was still alive and well, right behind me. he wasn't there. of course he wasn't. he's gone, get over yourself trashmouth. i blinked back any tears i had left as i unzipped my jacket's pocket to put my knife back in. however, as i reached in, i felt something else in my pocket. i rummaged around a little, trying to guess what it was, until i realised. i smiled. i knew what it was, i knew exactly what it was. eddie's inhaler. once we had successfully killed pennywise, i went back to grab eddie's inhaler, thinking it could help him. that was before we realised eddie had... had... you know. i sniffled as i took it from my pocket, clinging onto it, not wanting to accept the fact that he would never have to use it ever again. i wiped my eyes as i glanced back at the fence. i gave one last smile at our initials,
"i love you eds, always have, always will"
i said softly before getting back into the car and setting off to the airport.