Know || Peter•P x male reader

Wheezes and tripping

"Okay, so I know you're like an intern of Stark but what the fuck are you doing there at like.. 1 am or someshit." You said, looking over at Peter with a blank look as the two of you rode the car the billionair was.. kind enough to provide to make your way home.

"Well.. uh-" The brunette said, sucking his cheek in. "you robbed him?"

Peter quickly looked towards me, denying the accusation profusely. You faked a gasp "Oh my god, is he your sugar daddy?" Wheezing, You slapped your knee.

"Wha- No I- I just work for Mr. Stark, okay?" He said, gesturing chaotically.

"Thats what they all say, Peter" Patting his shoulder, you nodded at him. "Thats what they all say.."

The rest of the car ride was silent, apart from the jazz Happy played on the car's radio. you swore you could hear Venom grumble something but you could never really make it up.

When you arrived at the apartment, the goodbyes didn't really go as planned, you both were awkward. "Yeah bye."

"Yeah.."

"Aren't you gonna walk in?" He asked

"Oh my god, just walk in the door, Y/n"

"You.. walk in first.." you said. It went on for.. more than it should have. Finally giving in, turning the knob to your apartment door as Peter awkwardly watched you. You looked back one last time to see him waving before you stepped in and closed the door.

... silence.

"Waaaaaaddddeeeee...?" You called. "Who is that?" Venom asked. "Wrinkly cancer katana man from canada." you explained, as if its obvious. "You should know, you're in my head."

"Right."

There was still no Wade showing up. Stark said he should be home by now. you furrowed my brows, gripping the end of your shirt. "Uhm.. Im here, Im queer and I'll rip your throat out if you don't come out?"

....

Still nothing. Giving up, you sat down the couch and opened the TV, unsettled by how silent the fucking house was. Where was Wade yelling about how the curtains ate his ripped ass body builder waffles when you needed him.

An idea popped into your mind, though you swore to never call him that again..

"Dad?" you whispered. Suddenly Wade appeared infront of me, with his full suit on, he had a birthday hat on and two milk jugs in hand. "Hey, champ. I just went go the store, fancy seeing you herreee"

I put my hands to my face "Oh my god. I regret everything." You muttered as he danced enthusiastically with the milk jugs in his hand, opening it and 'drinking' it.

Long story short, it spilled onto the floor.

"This guy's more insane than you.."

"Tell me about it"

Wade looked at you, his mask's eyes widening, or maybe you were just insane. "Oh my god, you hear them too??"

He cackled "YOU REALLY ARE MY SON! COME HERE ILL SMOTHER YOU WITH MH THICK AS--"

"Didn't we have this.. conversation before..?" You said, feeling a sense of Deja vu.

"The author is sleep deprived and doesn't have any ideas for this chapter, so we just have to deal with it"

"Wh-"

"Shhhhh my child, it will be alright."

"Why is the author even writing at 5am?"

"Oh my god, you too?"

In the end Wade offered to cook you up celebratory pancakes, and even if you refused, he still did it. 3 of the pancakes somehow ended up sticking to your ceiling.

"HOW?!" Yous screeched as you motioned at the pancakes aggressively. Wade put an arm around your shoulder "Its my magic"

"Your magical ability is stucking pancakes to cielings?" You raised a brow. He nodded "You see, when a man meets a woman-"

"They have sex?"

"Exactly."

"But they just met.."

"Thats why the pancakes stick."

"WHAT?!"

----

Sloppily written filler. hazzuh. More dad wade for you fuckers. Please give me ideas owemji. :""