how cruel.
i headed straight home after that.
where else could i run to?
namjoon, you were wrong. so wrong.
love is a joke. it eats you up and makes you rot all over inside. it doesn't complete you, it makes you suffer and question everything.
love is worthless.
and i promise, i will never love again.
without even stepping a foot inside the house. i break down.
shouldn't i have expected this? happy endings are for losers who believe everything is meant to be.
it's just so hard.
i'm supposed to see you be offered to someone else. i'm going to have to watch as you wash away your life to spend it with someone else. i'll be watching as you love someone else.
why can't it be me?
i can make you happy. i'm certain i can do better than she can. i've known you all my life, is that not enough?
yoongi, i just want you.
forcing myself to stand strong, i wipe my tears and take a shower. i feel horrible.
as i lay alone on the bed, i wish continuously that you were the pillow beside me. that it's not the blanket giving me warmth but you.
the phone beeps. and it beeps a couple more.
of course, it's you.
[hey.]
[i won't ask you to come if you don't want to.]
[but can i ask you not to be sad?]
[i'll never be able to be there for you forever you know. i need you to do it for me.]
[ha. i'm being so evil.]
[take care of yourself.]
[be happy.]
[eat food that you want. sleep early.]
[spend time with people you forgot about. move places.]
[quit your job. meet new people.]
[get a boyfriend. study something. travel.]
[don't care for what i think anymore. i'll be happy as long as you are.]
[this is a little sudden, and you probably hate me, but i wanted to say... i'm still in love with you, and i don't think anything else could change that.]
[but as for now, you can't be mine.]
__________
That one was so beautiful I used to watch him sleep. If I had to sum up what he did to me,
I'd say it was this: he made me sing along to all the bad songs on the radio.
Both when he loved me and when he didn't.
-Jenny Offill, Dept. Of Speculation
YOU ARE READING
as for now. (min yoongi)
Romance"this is a little sudden, and you probably hate me, but i wanted to say... i'm still in love with you, and i don't think anything else could change that. and as for now, you can't be mine."
