Archived

Hanging

Dear God if you truly exist,

Am I a sinner if I simply see my birth and existence as suffering?
To be exact, I even see it as something meaningless, simply hanging and waiting for the grim reaper to take my soul.
Am I wrong to have such thought?

It's not that I'm not thankful or unfaithful for God has given this body a soul by dreaming and imagining my death, when it will finally come one day nobody knows when and how.
But here is my silently haunting thought when my friends and families gather together to share moments. If it's okay and beautiful to talk or day-dreaming about wedding, marriage, and building your own small happy family where you'll spend the rest of your age with your lifetime partner, why is it sound like a curse and forbidden to daydream about your funeral?
Marriage is a choice, death is absolution.
Death just been treated unfairly.

In the end, my dream death is plain and simple.
I wanna die peacefully in my sleep.
Like taking a long nap after all of your energy has been drained. Constantly dreaming without realizing that I'll forever be the main character in my own endless eternal dream.