House of Dolls

His Collection

This is Nathan's story, as dictated by me, his therapist. I'm Dr. Richard Carmichael, and I have dealt with Nathan over the past eighteen years at the Pennsylvania Department of Corrections. To fully recognize one's story, it requires to be told in full, not leaving out any details.

From a very young age, Nathan developed an unhealthy fascination for porcelain dolls. He had started his huge collection at the tender age of ten. As a child, while cleaning the attic of the old farmhouse, Nathan found a porcelain doll wrapped in sackcloth that looked like it had been there for decades. At first, Nathan hid it because he didn't want his father to see it, but over time he began to leave it laying around, regardless of whether his father saw it.

He developed an unhealthy attachment to them, while a larger detachment from his parents grew. He would take all the money he made out of his pocket, ride his bicycle, and go to the local flea market to add to his collection. All the dolls in the collection were handcrafted and painted with great precision. Each of them sat in his room in a specific order. He arranged them in order, according to the size, the level of the painting, and the color of the hair.

Warren did not agree with his collection, feeling that Nathan should be outside the farm and not locking himself in his room with a doll. As Nathan grew up, he became increasingly disrespectful and disobedient to his parents. Warren would eventually force Nathan to see a therapist as his threats to punish him were falling on deaf ears. He sensed that his behavior was becoming uncontrollable and wanted to find a way to bring him back. Nathan had a brief visit with a therapist and was eventually diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder. He felt emotionally distant from his parents and sought solace in his dolls. To Nathan, it represented something that he could control in his life. They would not hurt, abandon, or abuse him.

Time passed, and Warren noticed that Nathan's concern for his collection had grown, and he felt that the treatment had not helped him. Instead of confronting his son, Warren insulted Shari in place of Nathan as Nathan grew older, "Damnit Shari, that boy needs to stop buying dolls! He's a man, not a woman! He should be out driving trucks and tractors! We live on a farm, for Christ's sake!" Warren would blame Shari for Nathan's ever-growing collection. He always blamed her for anything Nathan did that he had not agreed with him doing.

"Warren, it's just a phase, and he collects them; he doesn't play with them." She made that statement to Warren, hoping he would let it go, never agreeing on the subject. Where his father thought dolls were not something for boys, his mother didn't mind.

"Seriously, Shari, he's almost eighteen! How does this not bother you?" Shari wouldn't dare answer that question. She knew if she had, it would only cause Warren to become more infuriated. His dad then decided to confront Nathan yet again. Through the span of eight years, he felt his collection had grown out of control, and planned to put a stop to it.

As he stormed up to Nathan's room, he swung open the door, "You need to focus more on your work with this farm instead of those stupid dolls! Aren't you a man?" Nathan stood there listless as he stared off into space, appearing not to hear Warren. "Are you going to say anything, little boy, or just stand there looking like an idiot?" Nathan still refused to acknowledge his father as he continued to belittle him. Warren then turned and left the bedroom, slamming Nathan's door shut at his lack of response. He wanted Nathan to rid his room of the collection, but Nathan would never comply. They had meant something to him, but no one ever cared to know what.

Soon the summer before Nathan's senior year had come to an end. His father hoped it would be time for Nathan to put away his infantile matters and grow to be an adult. On the morning of his first day returning to school, Nathan wakened and commenced his normal morning routine. He rose out of bed, tended to his dolls, rearranged any if they had been out of place, and headed down to the kitchen to get himself a glass of ice-cold milk. While ending his drink, Nathan sees his father scoffing at him while peering thru his nearly empty glass.