Rainbow Land - Miley Cyrus (Girl x Girl) (Boy x Girl)

Chapter 1

In my dream she was kissing me. Her long hair trailing over my stomach, tickling my abdomen and forcing it to contract. She made her way up towards my mouth as I lay prone, unable to move, held in the paralysis of pleasure. In this moment I'm convinced she's an angel. The sound of the morning outside started to pull me away from this moment, and from her. Back into the all too familiar world. The one where I wake up alone. In an act of desperation, I reach out to feel her, to let my fingertips trace her skin, eyes sealed shut in prayer to hold on, but, suddenly, my fingers grazed something sharp, and she was gone. 

When I woke up my hand was bleeding. Sometimes it feels hard not to admire the violence of a bodily process. Cherry red blood slipped between my fingers, dripping down the path of my palms. I was suddenly filled with the desire to take it and spread it over my white comforter. My pointer finger extended with a mind of its own, and I left one perfectly circular red dot next to where I lay. I close my eyes again in the hopes that any visions might return, but they're gone with the day's arrival. 

Stepping out of bed there's a noticeable ache in my legs. Sign of a good performance last night. I love my legs from this angle, where it's familiar. Whenever I see pictures of myself, and I do frequently, I hardly recognize my own body. My thigh contours every so slightly, giving way to a bony knee. If I didn't have these legs, would I have a career? I've always been skinny, but I've also always had to be. The slightest weight gain always cause for alarm. 

I miss her. How do you mourn a secret? 

Sitting on the balcony off my bedroom, I watch Barbie start to shuffle towards me. Her long ears nearly mopping the floor as she goes. What do you do when you have so much love for something that lacks the ability to understand language? She holds love so well. I pull the heft of her body into my lap and inhale deeply the corn chip starch smell of her fur and skin. Calming myself. 

It's a peaceful start to the morning, and my stomach starts to groan. Moving downstairs, Barbie close on my heels, I am flooded with memory. Every part of this house is hers now, not that I ever see her coming back. 

"Give it back to me." I said, playfully pulling at the back of her long ponytail. Ariana was always so good at teasing. 

"Why don't you take it?" she replied, pushing herself up into a seated position on my kitchen counter. 

This is what it was all about for me. When we were alone together. I can't ever get enough. I would never be able to possibly get enough. 

I walk across the room slowly and she spreads her legs, silently telling me where to go. I can't help but pause mentally, looking at her here, arching her back into my marble counter top. She's normally dressed so formally but tonight she's just in jeans. And they look so good. 

I make space for myself between her legs and look up at her. She pulls the lollipop out of her mouth and looks down at me as I wrap my arms around her, inhaling her. She wears perfume, but that's not the smell I'm looking for. I prefer the smell of her skin. Most likely the smell of her sweat. It stirs something in me. 

Before I know it were kissing, it's full of tenderness and passion wells up inside me. I could stay like this forever. Could she too? I'm too afraid to ask her. Our tongues find such a natural rhythm. We're both performers, but this is our private performance. It's just for us, but she's putting on a show. She breaks our bodies apart and looks at me in my eyes. She's giving me that look of intensity that I don't always get from her, I'm always chasing it. I let her eyes say so much, things she hasn't said. Things that I think she's afraid to say. Things neither of us will allow ourselves to say. 

I pull at her thighs in an effort to bring her closer to me, and she slides forward on the counter, moving to push her forehead into my own. I pull back just for a moment so that I can look at her in the eyes again. I wish we could stay here. I wish there weren't always so many things taking us away from this. From each other. 

She's breaks eye contact, brushing my hair behind my ear with an exceeding amount of tenderness. She melts me. She puts the lollipop back in her mouth, and then pulls it out and traces my lips with it. The cherry flavor circling my mouth. She brings her face closer to my own as I suck on it, and eventually removes the lollipop and replaces it with her own tongue, the cherry flavor of the candy lingering. 

"Doesn't that taste good?" she asks me. 

"I know something that tastes even better."