My Life (JC Caylen)([#WATTYS2015])

s e v e n t e e n

The song attached was inspiration for this chapter so I suggest listening to it while you read but you don't have to. It's "Looking at you through the glass" by Stone Sour.

Jc's POV
I'm at the hospital and I haven left Kian's side once. Not since I came from school however long ago that was. I haven't eaten anything or gotten any sleep. I stare at Kian, rubbing his knuckles wit my thumb, when there is a soft knock at the door. A nurse walks in and looks at me with sad eyes. "I need you to go home, get some sleep and eat. Kian will be here when you get back. I promise." She says. "I want to be the first one he sees when he wakes up." I say, selfishly. I know it's selfish but I don't care. I love him. "He wouldn't want you not eating and not sleeping or taking care of yourself. Please go home for two hours and take care of yourself. Go to school for tomorrow please. Kian isn't going to wake up soon. I promise you that" she says. I hang my head. "Okay" I whisper, standing up. The nurse gives me a hug as I walk out of the dark room and walk home as I'm told, too scared to take my car. I take a quick shower and try to take a short nap. I haven't eaten and I'm not hungry at all. I sigh loudly, not able to fall asleep without Kian holding me. I walk into his room and change into his cloths. I take in his scent. I lay in his bed and breath in his scent again. I sigh another time, realizing I won't be able to fall asleep. I get the urge to cut again. I walk into my bathroom and grab my blade from its hiding spot. I slice my wrists one, two, three, four... I keep going, watching blood slip down my wrist. My wrist is completely sliced up, with almost no skin left. I rummage through the cabinet, looking for a big bandaid. I finally find one and put it on and sigh. I lay in bed and try to fall asleep, but shortly I walk out and go back to the hospital. I walk to Kians room, seeing doctors there, doing more work on him. I look at him through the small window. Something catches my eye. A straight line. No more up and downs. There is a straight green line on the heart monitor. I run in and grab Kians hand. "NO WAKE UP PLEASE KIAN COME BACK NO" I cry. The doctors push me out the door carefully. I sit on the floor, crying. "No. This can't be" I whisper to myself.
That's when I sit up straight. I am in Kians bedroom. I sigh deeply, checking my phone. It's 8:00 pm. I walk to the hospital, rubbing my cut up arm. It was just a dream. I remind myself. You're going to get there, and he's going to be alive. He's going to wake up. I smile as I walk into his room an see his heart monitor beeping normally. "Wake up baby. Please" I whisper. I kiss his cheek and grab his hand. "I miss you" I whisper again, kissing his other cheek. "Come back to me" I whisper a third time, kissing his forehead. I rest my head on his, still standing up. "I know you want to. Please try" I whisper.
Kian's POV
"I know you want to, please try" I hear someone say. I want to come back. I want to see who loves me. Who are you? I try thinking how I got here. Where am I again? All I can see is darkness and all I can feel in numb. A little bit ago I felt warmth on my Cheeks and forehead, I think the-person-who-loves-me might've kissed me. I feel warmth on my hand, my whole hand. They might be holding it. I wish I could remember who this person is. Why do they sound like a boy? I would never like a boy. But I want to know. I want to know everything. What they look like. What there name is. Everything about them.
Jc's POV
Visiting hours are over and I am forced to leave by the nurse that told me out before. "Go to school tomorrow, he'll be fine. I promise" she says again. I nod. "Thank you" I say, hugging her. "No problem. I'll call you if anything happens okay" she says. I nod in agreement and go home, walking slowly.
*NEXT DAY*
I walk into school and Taylor spots me, punching me hard in the stomach. "Why did you do that to me?" I whisper.
I sit there holding his hand like normal. I hear a long beep and look up. It's a night mare come true. I scream loudly. "KIAN NO" I cry, knowing this time it's true. I kiss his cheek. "No Kian. Don't be dead. Why?" I cry. I kiss his face over and over. "Kian please" I let out a sob, pushing the nurse button. A nurse comes running in, seeing the straight line I dreaded seeing the whole time. "I need you to leave please" she says, sympathetically. "No. I'm not leaving." I say. A few seconds later, a doctor comes in. I am hysterically crying, still holding Kians had tightly. I let out a sob, kissing Kians knuckles. A feel someone pull me up and take me to the waiting room. I pull my legs to my chest, trying to calm myself down, but only crying harder. This is all my fault. I'm the reason that my Kian just died.
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A/N
I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!
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