The story

"Home"

It may be what they called it but it wasn't what it felt like. It felt like I had no choice. A big empty space I didn't want. I want to go home. My real home. This definitely wasn't it.

Now school.

I went in. No idea where I was going. I wasn't used to public school. I'm used to a family in a small comfy place. Now there's halls that all look the same and people I've never seen. Great. Now I'm all alone to find my way.

I finally asked someone how to get to my classroom. Everyone has already started the year and knows where to go and who their friends are. Now I'm the weird new kid.

When I go in, it's nothing I was expecting. I felt like that mess up in your candy or something. That one that everyone points out and stares at since they know it doesn't belong. It not just changing schools. It's changing states. Like when you go on vacation and they say things differently and do things that seem odd. "Put it up". The first phrase I've never heard before. Within a few minutes I heard this loud sound. I asked someone what it was and they looked at me like I was crazy. It was a tornado siren. I was from the east coast. There's never tornados there. How was I supposed to know everything that happens in the Midwest. Later on I found out that they test the sirens every first Monday of the month.

I hate not knowing what's going on.

That's all that went on that day though. Not knowing, feeling lost. I was scared. All I did was make mistakes too. I didn't know what I couldn't do and all the rules or how everything worked. All I wanted was for the day to end. But when it did, I knew I had to go back the next day.

I went on with the same confusing and wanting to cry. You'd think, it could only get better since you'd get used to it all. Nope. It got worse. They started to bully me. I was in fifth grade. I was living somewhere else and at a catholic school before. I was a tomboy. I wore boys clothes and acted like one a lot too. I never had people bully me for it before other then my grandma. They called me trans and lesbian or in the closet and things like that. I wasn't used to people saying things so I didn't know what any of it meant but it still hurt. I knew they were making fun of me. They'd point at me and say the things then laugh or just come up to me and say it. I never said a word to them. I'd pretend I didn't hear it. I didn't want to tell anyone because it was embarrassing and it wasn't like I had any friends anyway.

This was only the first week of school. It wasn't like the day ended when school ended either. The bus was the same. The two boys infront of me would make fun of me too. And the other kids in my grade would too.

The next week, I had to go away. I had to go the something called "fifth grade camp" you went about an hour away into a forest and stayed in cabins and stayed there for a week. I knew no one. Even more of a new place. Great.

I got there and when I found who was in my cabin, I made friends with one girl the most. Her name was Sydney. She wasn't a girly girl like most of them and our personalities kind of just fit. We shared a bunk. Through out the week, I just wanted to go home. There was just kids having fun. They'd sing campfire songs they've learned for years with the friends they've had since they were born. I just sat back and barely wanted to do anything.

I was looking forward to one thing. Now it was finally time to do it. I had to go with the class of kids who made fun of me most. Of course. I talked to one girl who was like me. It was nice but I still had the kids making fun of me. I just did the same thing again. Pretending it was all fine. It wasn't. I felt really bad. I was still so confused about what they were even calling me.

We went fishing first then to the mud cave. I was one of the only people to catch a fish, but that was only since I was all alone just sitting there. Then, the mud cave. It was scary. It was a small space but I loved getting dirty so I thought it was fun. Of course, my helmet got stuck in one of the small spaces. Thankfully, with tugs, I got out myself. I didn't know anyone to ask for help so it was my only choice anyway.

Later, they had a fashion show. I wasn't going to dress up and dance around. That's not me at all. I had no friends to do anything fun with anyway so what did it matter. I just sat on the side. I was so glad it was almost time to go home. I wasn't going to go home and tell my family it was horrible. I hate seeing them sad. I just said it was fun. Told them the few fun things even if they weren't that great and I shouldn't have gone.

Soon enough, we went home. Finally.