TRU Life: Freshman Year (Lesbian)

Not A Playa From The Himalayas

The following week, I decided I wanted to put more effort into my grades, and worry less about girls. I was here on a merit-based scholarship, so if my grades were bad, it would ruin everything. I figured I could take a bit of a break from my social life. At the end of the day, I wasn't here for that.

So, after I finished lunch, I paid my English tutor a visit. We're an hour into the session, now. I wondered if I could even call the shit a session. We'd been staring at each other almost longingly for the past ten or so minutes. She looked good. Her deep brown skin was illuminated by the rays of the sun that made its way through the window. She only wore a white wifebeater and some black basketball shorts. Her dark brown locs sat atop her head in a messy bun. There were a few that didn't quite make it into the bun, including the three that still hung in front of her face. In spite of my own self, I was staring her down. To make matters worse, she was absolutely staring a hole through me. The sunrays illuminated her eyes, as well as the single gold stud in her nose. I tried to ignore how luscious her lips look. They had been coated with some kind of chapstick or something, and it shined in the light. I wear a poker face, 'cause I didn't really want her to know what I was thinking. I wanted her so, so, so bad but I didn't want to give in. I was actually here to study the damn material. Just then I thought of how much of a mistake this probably was. I was in need of a tutor, though. KP offered to help me, since she'd had the course the prior year. She got an A, and thought she would be a good fit. And thus far, she absolutely was. I just wasn't sure how good a student I was to her. Any time she said anything, I had to make myself listen very hard. It was too easy to be distracted by her.

I clutched onto my pencil for dear life and willed myself to just put my eyes back on my paper. I hear KP stifling a giggle. "Let's take a break." KP suggests. "You're letting stuff distract you again." she says. I chuckle. She was right, I was losing my focus. I close my notebook, and put the makeshift bookmark in my textbook, closing that as well.
"What are you doing this weekend?" she asks me. I shrug. "Not sure. Might hang with my friends, might not. Why?"
"I wanna take you out."
"You wanna take me out? Like... on a date?"
"Call it what you want, I just want to have you to myself for a couple hours. Believe me, I enjoy tutoring you, but it's been a while since I've seen you outside of the academic arena."
I nod in agreement. It had been probably a good two or so weeks since I'd hung out with her, for fun.

"You know what?" I begin. "I'd like that." I said, smiling. KP starts beaming. "Yes!" she whispers loudly to herself. "So, where you gon' take me?" I inquire. I figure I'll know how to dress, based on where we're going. "Remember how you wouldn't tell me where we were going, on our last big date?" she asks, smugly. My eyes grow wide. "You can't do that to me! First of all, I did it first so your secret date idea wouldn't be original, and second I hate surprises."
"You made me get on a rollercoaster." she replies, with her arms crossed.
"So?"
"Maybe I was afraid to get on it and whined a little, but I still did it. I want you to give my idea a chance. If you try it and decide it's not for you, fine. But I need you to promise me you'll give it a chance."
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. I massage my temple. "Why do I feel like I'm gonna regret this?" I ask, rhetorically.
"So, is that a yes?"
"It's not a no."
"But I need a yes."
"But that might be a lie."
"Gwen!" she says, with an attitude.
"Fine." I say, rolling my eyes.
"Yeah?"
"You lucky you fine." I said, under my breath.
"I'm glad to know you like what you see." she responded, letting me know she heard me.
"I always do." I say, winking. She blushed in spite of herself, but recovered quickly.
"Right..." she says, trailing off. I wondered what she meant by that last comment she made. Before I could ask her about it, she clasped her hands  together. "Alright, let's get back to it. Now this next part of the play is where shit gets real, okay? I want you to pay very close attention to the words that the author uses. Open that book up and read the next paragraph and see if you can guess what the tone is."
I grab my book and open up to where the bookmark was, looking after KP as she looks away, with an unreadable expression on her face.

Later on that night, I found myself pouring my feelings out to Cam. I fall back on my bed in exasperation. "I feel terrible. I'm supposed to be a savage now, but I don't really think I'm cut out for it."
She cackles heartily. "Look, there's nothing wrong with dealing with one person at a time. It's just not for everybody. Maybe you need to quit playing around and pick somebody."

"But I don't want to choose. I still want to deal with both of them. I just wish feelings didn't get in the damn way." I complained.
"Who has feelings?" she asks me.
"It's KP. She told me from the beginning that she only wants me, but... I can't trust that. As soon as I fall for that bullshit, she'll find a way to destroy my trust. I can't have that, Cam. I refuse to let that happen."

"You really think she's bullshitting?" Cam asks.

"I can't say. It sounds like it's too good to be true. Like I'm waiting any day for the bullshit to start. I told you, as soon as I find myself falling for the bitch, that's when she'll start acting up—- that's how it always goes!"
"You think you gon' wind up falling for her?" Cam asks. I stare at the ceiling. "I don't know. I don't even wanna think about it."

"From what I've seen thus far, I think KP is really genuine. Aside from your fear of commitment, why won't you make it official with her? What's something you don't like about her?" she asks. I shrug my shoulders. "There's nothing that I don't like about her. She's fine, sweet, and very clear on what she wants with me... most times."

"Most times? What do you mean?"

"Well, earlier she asked me on a date.... but I could tell she had something on her mind. She didn't bring it up."

"Maybe something else happened that day. It's probably not even about you." Cam suggested. "Okay, yeah. Maybe you're right. I shouldn't worry about that." I say out loud. But internally, I knew I probably had to have an uncomfortable talk with KP eventually, and it'd probably happen sooner, rather than later.

"What's up with you and the other girl?"

I shrug my shoulders. "What do you mean, what's up?"

"Does she know you're dealing with other people?"

"Yeah. I figured not telling your sexual partners you deal with somebody else wasn't such a great idea. Thanks for that, by the way." I say, winking. She chuckled 'cause she knew I was throwing a little shade.

"How'd she take it?"
"How'd she take what?" I asked, immediately thinking of some our past encounters. I find myself having trouble bringing myself back to reality. "The news, nasty." Cam says. "Oh, she kind of took it as a challenge. She said she knows she's the best person I'm gon' ever fuck with." I giggle. "So, was she right?"
"Eh, it's too early to tell but her confidence is so sexy. She knows what she wants and just goes for it. There's no discussions of feelings or any of that. No questions, no nagging. Straight up fuckin'. It's exactly what I was looking for."
Cam nods her head slowly. "Sounds fun. I never could successfully do that, everybody keeps falling in love with me."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Yikes. Somebody should tattoo a warning label on you."
"Ha-ha, and what should they tattoo on you? From what I'm hearing, you have the same effect on people."
I roll my eyes. "Girl, please." I say, snickering while unwrapping a Snickers bar. "I'm serious, G. I mean, who is ever truly okay with being a part of a ho roster? Most of them will openly protest it, while others choose to suffer in silence, just to appease whoever they're with. Usually, it's 'cause they're in love."
"Oh, stop. They are not in love with my raggedy ass." I say, taking a bite of the candy.
Cam rolls her eyes. "You are not raggedy. You're great." she says. I giggle. "Is this your idea of a pep talk?" I ask. She shrugs. "It's not something I do often. I mean it, though."
I suppress a laugh. "Well, I appreciate it."
"You're welcome." she says, and goes into her phone.
"Hey, Cam." I call out, a few minutes after scrolling through my own phone.
"Hmm?" she responds.
"Let's do something. Friday good for you?"
"Yeah. What is it you're trying to do?"
"It'll be a surprise." I say, wiggling my brows. My favorite thing to do is drag other people into my shenanigans. It didn't make any sense how I was almost annoyed with KP wanting to spring some shit on me, when I was the one that constantly did it. I snicker at the hypocrisy.
"It is always something with your crazy ass."
"Have you ever regretted one night out with me?" I ask her. She chuckles. "No, but I figure that day is inevitable so I get more and more scared each time." she admits.
"It's settled. After class, we'll walk over to the Loop cand make our way there."