Some kind of Real Thing

January 11th 1:32am Thoughts

I feel different. I feel as if I don't feel enough.

Did the last "whatever bullshit thing" I had drain all the feelings I was supposed to have now that it is our time?

That was more than a year ago that was two "new years" ago.

I can finally say that I'm over it. And anyway I like you now.

I'm just not sure of my feelings. I just can't figure myself out.

I always say that I'm afraid to get hurt. I'm afraid it won't work out. I'm afraid you would get tired of me and would finally see that I'm really not as /awesome/.

But to be completely honest, I'm more afraid of hurting you. Because you don't deserve it, yet I know I would break your heart. I know it won't work out. I would be the one to get tired with you. Because that's what I do. I get tired of people.

I'm fucked up. And I don't deserve people like you.

I just don't deserve you.