The imperfect perfect man

Lilith

I keep walking through a dark maze. Every time I turn one corner I would run into a dead end. I keep trying to follow the voices, I keep trying to follow Alexanders voice, but I can't find him. I don't know where I am, and I'm scared and lonely.

"You should be a lone you don't deserve him." I heard a female voice. It sounded so familiar.

"Who is that? Who's there?" I cried out in the dark.

"You know who I am, and you know I'm right." It laughed at me.

"Why does your voice sound so familiar? Who are you?" I asked struggling to find the voice.

"You'll know soon enough." The voice laughed again. "You know they would all be better off without you. You just bring them pain and sadness."

I stopped moving in the dark maze and sat down on the cold floor because I knew she was right; I don't deserve them. Alexander has given me everything I've ever wanted, and I kept hurting him. I kept lying to him. I kept throwing my insecurities in his face by accusing him of cheating on me. I knew how much me not trusting him was hurting him, but I didn't care, I kept pushing him away. Even now I keep hearing him pleading with me to come back but I can't find my way back to him. I put my face in my hands and started to cry.

"I want to go home. I want to go home." I kept repeating over and over.

"You are home, don't you recognize this place?" The sinister voice laughed.

Just then I looked around and my worst fear was coming true, I was home, but not the home I loved, I was at the home I hated. I was at the home I shared with Christian and my heart stopped beating for a second.

"This isn't real." I said walking around the house I haven't been to in 10 years. "This is a dream. Wake up, please wake up."

I saw Christian enter the room with a creepy smile on his face.

"You're not real." I said out loud.

"How much do you want to bet I'm real." Christian laughed at me "Let's play a game, lets see who runs faster you or me." He started charging towards me and I started to run, but I was back in the dark maze again running from Christian running for my life.

"Alexander please help me." I cried out again.

"Why should he help you, you left him." The voice grew angry now.

"I didn't leave him." I was breathing hard.

"You chose your selfishness over Alexanders love. You don't deserve him; you never deserved him; this is what you deserve." Just then Christian appeared out of nowhere and started hitting me.

"Your weak, your selfish, you don't deserve the family you have, you don't deserve to be alive." The voice kept saying over and over while Christian kept hitting me.

Just then another person came into focus, a face I recognized just laughing at me, laughing at my pain. It was me.

"Deep down you always knew that one day Alexander will realize that you are a nobody and he made a mistake falling for you. He's larger than life and you are just bringing him down to your level. People are only nice to you because you're married to a billionaire, where were they when you were married to Christian? 8 years you had no one to help you or call your friend, but now you have tons of friends who I'm sure if you left Alexander, they would leave you." My voice echoed through the maze. "Your worthless, you're not strong enough for him, he's better off without you."

The maze disappeared and so did Christian and the other me. I was just sitting on the floor alone again. I felt so cold, helpless and broken. I wanted to go home, but what if she's right? What if I'll just ruin their lives all of their lives, then I heard another voice, the voice that I craved, the voice that I love, Alexanders voice.