Beauty to Ashes

Chapter 7

"...To be honest, when you brought her over back then, I was very, very happy..." The way he spoke was just like someone narrating a story. It was as though he would lose control of his emotions if he did not speak in this manner.

Chen Lan started to feel an intense cold rise up from the soles of his feet. He was frozen in place and could not even open his mouth to speak or shift his line of vision. Instead, he could only stare at the finger of his older brother tugging at his sleeves, as well as that pale and frail-looking face that was within the peripheries of his vision. Chen Ruo seemed to be organizing his words as he muttered on endlessly.

"... I know I shouldn't have made her stay behind, I should have let her return... What was the use of her remaining here? There were too many noble daughters, and my seat on the throne was precarious. I wasn't able to protect her... I should have let her go back... But I didn't." He said it in this way with his eyes closed. Drops of water dripped down from his wet hair and coalesced on his trembling lashes, just like tears.

"I thought, if I let her return, her father might immediately arrange a marriage for her and give his blessings to another man. So, I couldn't do it. I obviously knew what would happen, I clearly knew everything, but... but I still kept her by my side."

He clearly knew that she would be bullied, he knew everything. But he kept her from leaving, all because of his desire, the mere desire of seeing her once in a while. 

Then what happened? 

He tossed her aside once again, pushing her into a lonely corner in the depths of the palace in anticipation that once stability returned to the courts, he could take her into his arms once again. 

That moment would probably bring him a warped sense of satisfaction, right? 

Forcing her world to shrink smaller and smaller, leaving her in ruins so that apart from him, she had nothing else. Just like that, using the excuse of protecting her, he indulged in others and allowed them to trample and humiliate her. 

In the end, all these were exchanged for that scene of her shrunken on the ground as she looked quietly at him with deathly stillness and an ashen expression of hopelessness. 

Back then, his entire figure was trembling slightly. Yet, he had to maintain a smile as he joked with the concubines crowded around him. One step by one step, he distanced himself from her. 

Back then, he never once looks back. He knows if he turned his head to look into her eyes, he would have given up everything and rushed forward without care to hug her. But, that would have caused her to lose her life immediately. Hence, he forced himself to hold back, gradually walking further and further away.

Chen Lan looked at him. He looked at the face of his older brother which seemed to be choking back tears, his entire body trembling.

"... She was chased out of the palace. I immediately sent people out to search, but she was already missing..." Chen Ruo suddenly stopped midway. Then, he removed the hand that was covering his face and gazed at the brother who looked exactly like him with pitch-black eyes.

At that moment, Chen Lan suddenly felt the temperatures around him plunge to below zero. A formless and ugly object seemed to contract around him like a snake.

Chen Ruo's fingers gripped his wrist instead as he gazed fixedly at Chen Lan.

"...Ah Lan, you will help me find her, right?"

He knew. He knew the person who took Jin Xiu away was him. Looking back, would it even be possible for Chen Ruo to be kept in the dark? If he really loved Jin Xiu sincerely. 

 At that instant, Chen Lan suddenly understood. He did not respond and only kneeled down with bent knees, before taking his leave.

The moment Chen Lan left the palace, he immediately departed from the capital. He did not bother about anything else and galloped straight to Wuzhou without stopping once. The journey that should have taken one month only took him ten days to complete.