The passage

Chapter 7

Anthony
Gone. Everything gone. All the things I wanted to say to her were nonexistent anymore. As she bursted into the library, with those shinning green eyes, her black curled hair, sprawled across her face, I lost it. Her eyes immediately bored into mine, and not knowing what to do, I awkwardly smiled at her. I literally fucking smiled at here, after everything, the great time we had.. the kiss.. my first reaction the day after was a smile... way to make it awkward Anthony... I knew she would come after me , but to tell me what? Insecurity fills me, I DESPISE that feeling. I never felt insecure, at least not with girls.. But with her , I felt lots of other feelings that I never felt before. I wanted her to come in here and tell me that she wants more.. but who am I kidding, she's probably gonna smack me right in the face... But still, the small bubble of hope ,still, didn't cease to grow. I was lost in her, and I had the feeling, that she too... maybe, would be. I had a plan in my head, a real fucking plan, for once, but I wasn't sure about that anymore. It was painful to think of doing this to her, but it was my only chance to get rid of my destiny... some months ago I would say that I would do anything so that I can live a peaceful life, but now... No! I need to think of myself, not of her. I don't even know her, but that is the problem, I just got a small glimpse of her last night, and the kiss ignited something in me, and I feel like I know her for a lifetime , which makes it even worse. I know that it will do me no good, but I want to get to know her, before i let go of her, and put my burden on her fragile shoulders.. She brings me out of my thoughts, as she leans with her palms on the table, and asks me: Can we talk?" I nod my head slowly and follow her outside...  As we arrived on campus outside, she abruptly turned around, and the simple look of those green eyes ,unraveld me. :"I'm sorry for interrupting you in there.." she starts but trails off, making it clear that she doesn't know how to start the conversation.:" No, actually I was just about to leave, so it's okay, you didn't interr-„ but she stopped me middenstance:" What do you want Anthony?" her voice full of insecurity. Her face holds a confused.. annoyed, mad maybe.., no, a flusterd expression... What should I tell her.. I don't want her to run away from me, not yet at least. But still.. I couldn't lie to her, we just knew each other for whAt? 3 days maybe, but I feel like this.. deep... fuck. I don't know how to describe it. It's like in those cheesy telenovelas, this connection , this strong bond..

Ps: to all the readers, first of all: thank you! Second of all: listen to the song that I put over on the top of the page while reading this. Thanks again ❤️