Mind Games on a Late Night

The reckoning

To the sight of Terrence, having his face hidden within his hands, no other sound came out of my lips apart from his name and nothing more. Nothing I could say now would make sense to him. My mind was suddenly drained and I felt horribly empty. His breath, short and hard echoed like punches to my ears, while my heart was drumming out of control. Why did I not lie? I had chosen to be honest, but I had to explain.

"Terrence..." I said a third time. "Please Terrence...get a hold on yourself...please..."

I was worried.

"You have destroyed me." His voice was almost a whisper.

I gasped; my hand by instinct came up to my mouth. I was feeling scared, never before I had heard accusations of that degree intended for me. What could I say to that? My head started spinning.

"You have destroyed me!" His words sounded louder, they contained fire inside. Hate?

He lifted his head looking at me with bloodshot eyes; two whirlpools of blue in the centre, flushed cheeks. A spasm of disgust transformed his perfect face. He stood up all of a sudden, while grabbing my tattered copy of Romeo & Juliet and threw it violently across the room. It spun and hit with force the bookcase. 

An explosion of pages dipped in tragedy, verses of love and death swimming in the air.

"Fuck this!" He said in a straight voice.

If I was looking at the demise of my Romeo & Juliet in slow motion, his voice brought me fast forward and placed me back on my feet.  I had my eyes glued on his strong silhouette pacing in my study like an animal in a cage.

I gathered my thoughts as much as I could while I gave him a fiercely disapproving stare. He saw the pressed thin line of my lips.

"What?" he stopped and asked me.

He paused for a few seconds and then his laughter full of sarcasm filled the room. I had my arms crossed over my chest. My fingers held so tight, my fingernails were digging in the skin at the sound of him laughing. He stared at me with glazed eyes.

"Well...you made me like this, get used to it lady." He said with a smirk at his face.

Terrence was hurting and all he wanted was to hurt me in response. I was standing at a crossroad, not knowing which direction to take. 

To console him? 

To explain? 

To ignore? 

Shout back in anger?? 

So much conflict in my heart about this young man who bursted into my life unexpectedly. I chose to try and calm him down, to explain, otherwise this conversation would go nowhere. I Agitated as I was, wanting to give an end to this surreal episode, I was also immensely curious to find out the exact reason of his visit that night. I knew that it would be something of paramount importance to him and me as a consequence.

"Terrence..." I said to him. "Can you please sit down?" I asked him, hoping that he would oblige.

The absence of my reaction to him destroying my copy of Romeo and Juliet as well as towards his swearing threw him off a bit; I could see that. He wanted to provoke me. His unsure eyes, his hesitant moves...Terrence was standing next to me in that crossroad.  I wanted to take him by the hand, to make him understand. That's what I hoped for anyway.

After a couple of minutes deliberating, he silently sat down on his chair never taking his eyes from me and what I had to say. I drew a deep breath.

"I know you want to hurt me, I know you do OK?" I started, "And I know that Albert's role in the story is something that you wanted to know since I ended the story."