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Reluctant

When I an creating something

I always try to make it perfect

Everything has to be perfect

So I can cover up all the imperfections I have

Maybe one day I will be as perfect as him

Maybe one day when I am not reluctant

I will smile at his face and with perfect grace look him in the eyes

And kiss him

Maybe one day I guess

One day when I'm not too much of a perfectionist

Imperfection is the only way it would actually be a memory

And imperfection lasts

         -troye 1/12/15

Today

I'm seeing him today

I guess I don't have to tell you who

But he makes me smile

And his blue eyes make me feel like I could stay quite a while

Although I get sad sometimes when the sky's are gray

I just think and remember his eyes and I know it all will be better someday

But then I remember that love is a gun

I don't want to shoot myself

I don't want to shoot anyone

But maybe if he pulls the trigger

Maybe I won't be to blame when I'm dead quicker

Maybe he won't shoot

Maybe this is just a hopeless crush

Maybe all this poetry does not mean enough

When I will fall, no clue

Its inevitable, I know

Maybe we both have a hole in our hearts

From a different bullet,

Different scars

Maybe we can heal those wounds

And turn away the gun

And live happily forever

Until our time on earth is done

But I know that won't happen

For I have been shot

And he, has not.

       -connor 1/12/15

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