Anxiety.
It roams about inside of me.
It floats around in the streets of our society.
It's what makes most people anti social, and live silently.
The anxiety of being hurt. It lives inside us quietly.
Back when I was poppin with 1.54k all I wanted was privacy.
I reminisce alot back to highschool cause I didnt have propriety.
I was self centered, and stupid, and selfish. I needed to learn variety.
Now I'm telling my peers to experiment, that's total irony.
Pressure.
I know you think I look like the guy that wakes up feeling fresher.
But lemme tell you right now, my worth gets lesser and lesser.
I learned to never assume. Yet people assume most of my gestures?
Why is that? Am I wrong for giving off my raw texture?
Just because I have a different opinion doesn't make me clever?
Compromise. That's something this world will never.
How can we not complain about opinions? When we complain about the weather.
This world will never learn to measure they're own selfish pleasure.
Pain
This is a feeling that can drive some insaine.
Yet people make them feel like they gotta messed up brain.
Because the ones who never felt it dont understand the mental strain.
Raise a hand if you feel like the weakest link on the chain.
Raise a hand if you feel like everyday is dark and cloudy, and filled with rain.
I wake up asking myself what is it that I have to gain?
I just went pro in a video game. Yet my life is filled with more drain.
I was 17 when I gotta call that my biological mother died off cocaine.
And people wonder why I am mentally not sane.
Depression
For the old crew reading, I hated myself as a freshman.
I left because I hated myself. That's my confession... that's my confession.
From my mom I had so much pent up agression.
How do I live with myself? That's my question.
My depression stems from feeling abandoned by my mother, that's the connection.
And anyone that tries to walk out my life that I love. I use that as a weapon.
It's not cause I crave attention. I'm afraid of rejection.
Because my mom rejected me at birth. That's my perception.
Purpose
I can go in forever with this topic. It'll never leave me wordless.
Only thing it has done has left me feel worthless.
Not having purpose has made me feel like ima bad persons.
You may get the "I'm good" text but that's all just surface.
I look at my life like, this is something I never would purchase.
And the way I feel about myself makes the little friends I have nervous.
I feel in love with this girl, but ya see, I too was fooled by the serpent.
I wonder if she will ever feel the pain in these verses.
Loneliness
When will I stop posting segments of my depression on my phone?
It's not like anybody addresses the things that I've shown.
I talked to an old friend yesterday, I can tell he feels alone.
I rember when I felt like, I could do this life thing all on my own.
But now I realize there's a small difference in my tone.
When people ask me if Tears For You made me happy, I tell em I wish I coulda known.
Reversion and Note Pad barely succeeded, I'm falling outta the zone.
And now when they ask me why I'm retiring I tell em just, don't.
Welcome to all the monsters inside of my closet.
You wanna know how I am? I'm not happy, that answer is honest.
I got a suicidal note that I carry in my pocket.
Oh wait I'm wearing a smile? I'm just letting my struggle be modest.
I'd be the richest man if depression gave me profit.
But if it did, I just my make the worlds biggest deposite.
I got the drip? Yeah my heart drips like a leaky faucet.
My girl told me she loved me, oh well, another broken promise.
HAHAHA
THESE ARENT MONSTERS! THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT COMPOSE ME,
1 MAN, CANT YOU SEE?
the monster.
