Wormtail's Journey

Chapter 4

April 1979

Marlene was sleeping. She looked too peaceful. They were at Marlene's flat. Peter spent a lot there. Peter was drawing her. Back at Hogwarts he used to sketch a lot during classes. He loved drawing. It gave him peace. He wasn't particularly good but he had tons of sketchbooks lying around. He was finishing drawing her hair, when Marly woke up.

"Wait, don't move" he said

"Why?" she asked with a sleepy voice.

"I'm drawing you?" Peter answered.

But Marly was fully awake now

"I didn't know you could draw!" she said surprised

"Let me see"

Peter gave her the parchment.

"Bloody hell! I'm not that pretty!"

"Stop it, you are beautiful"

Marlene smiled "You are really good at this" she said giving the parchment back "Do you have more?"

"Yes somewhere around my house"

"You have to show me"

"No way" he said smiling

"Why? you are very talented. You made me look beautiful" she said. Peter gave her a 'believe that you're beautiful' look.

"I don't know" he said

"You have a talent. You prefer being plain Peter? The one everyone teases around?"
Peter raised his shoulders.

"C'mon. Everyone has their talent. James is good at Quidditch, Remus is good at classes and memorizing things and Sirius is good at..."

"Flirting" Peter finished "Hello, baby" he said imitating Sirius voice and rubbing his hair "I'm Sirius Black"

Marlene laughted

"Named after a Star" Peter continued.

"The star was named after me" Marlene also imitated Sirius voice "And I'm a Legend"

"And I'm better than everyone else" Peter finished. Marly laughed. "Babe.." they both finished laughing.

"I can't believe I used to have a crush on him" Marly said.

"Sirius has his apealing"

Marlene gave him a meaningful look
"That sounded gay, didn't it?'

She laughed

"Anyhow, Drawing could be your thing"

Marly said and Peter smiled

"Holy shit what time is it?" said Marly looking at Peter's hand watch "I have to go to work"

She stood up and put on her coat "Will you be a sweetheart and lock up when you leave?"

"Sure"

"Thanks Pete" she said kissing his cheek.

March 1981

It had been 5 months working for the deatheaters. Well not quite. He only had to write or meet up with Malfoy and give him all the information he could. He skipped the torturing and killing part. He haven't seen any deatheater other than Malfoy. He hadn't seen You Know Who, thank Merlin. But still he felt so guilty. They have been so close to die so many times. Deatheaters simply arrived and nobody understood how they found them. Only Peter knew. He have been avoiding, lying everyone. He was good at lying now.

He was at an Order meeting sitting in the back, far away from everyone. James, Sirius and Remus knew he'd been acting suspicious. But they just let him be. They assumed he was still overwelmed by Marlene's death.

Moody came in sitting at the top chair.

"I have bad news" he said "There's a spy between us"

Peter's heart stopped beating for a while. He was very pale. Shit. They got him.

"What?" asked Sirius "Who is it?"

"I will gladly like to know Black" Moody sounded irritated. "But that's the point. Dumbledore thinks the spy must've been giving information to the other side for months now"

"Well that explains a lot" said Gideon.

"Now some of us are not here. They are at work or on missions. But for the ones that are here, I can bloody tell you this" he made a meaningful pause. "I'll catch the guilty" he had flames on his eyes.

"How do we know you are not the spy?" asked Emmeline.

People raised up and began fighting, building up conspiracises and accusing others. Soon the room was a mess. Peter took advantage of the chaotic situation to go outside for a bit.

He was sweating cold and he couldn't breath properly. He was having a panick attack again. He leaned to the wall.

"You feel guilty now? Too late to go back now"

It was Marlene. Peter was not surprised. He had been seeing her on his head a lot. Kind of like his conscious.

"They won't find out is me" he said

"Oh they will, they are talented wizards after all"

"No"

"You know what would happen, don't you? They'll send you to Azkaban so you can rot there"

Peter was moving his head and shaking 

"And that's not the worse part. Your friends are gonna hate you. Forever"

"I did this to protect them" he said

"Do you really think they are gonna believe that?"

Marlene continued "You're practically a deatheater"

"No, no I'm sorry. I just wanted them to be safe. They're my friends. They will understand"

"Peter" Marlene's voice sounded sinister "Are they really your friends? You are a nuisance to them. They wouldn't miss you at all"

"Shut up" murmured Peter

"It's always been them. The great James, fabulous Sirius, cute and sensible Remus. What do you bring to the group?"

"Shut up" Peter was covering his ears.

"They don't need you. They don't care about you. Never have, not properly. Maybe they deserve what you are doing"

"No. Shut up"

"Do you feel guilty Peter?"

"SHUT UP!" he yelled. And Marlene's voice faded away.

"Are you okay Peter?" Peter opened his eyes to see Alice Longbottom in front of him.

Peter nodded but he was shaking. Alice sighed.

"I needed some fresh air"

Peter didn't respond. He couldn't speak.

"A spy, ha?" she said "I can't believe someone would do something like that"

Peter's heart was beating fast.

"I'm scared for Frank, and Neville..." she had tears on her eyes.

"I know that you are scared too. Specially after what happened to Mar..." she sighed.

"Who..." Peter swallowed "Who do think it is? Th-the spy?"

Alice raised her shoulder.

"No idea" she whispered "But I don't think is anyone of us. Our closest friends I mean, don't you agree?"

Peter nodded again. He tried smiling to her. But he couldn't cope with that right now.