Wormtail's Journey

Chapter 8

September 1981

Back to this shit. Peter had to give Malfoy information again. Or else, Merlin knows who he was going to kill. Or if bloody You Know Who was going to do unspeakable things to him. The war was at the worst and Peter was so scared. He had panick attacks daily now. And he bearly left the house. Only for missions or Order meetings. He didn't give a fuck on pretending he was fine anymore. But nobody noticed. James and Lily couldn't leave the house. And Sirius was to worried about them. Him and Remus constantly fought. They didn't touch each other as often.

Everytime someone got hurt, or died, Peter felt so fucking guilty. He locked up in his room and slapped or hit himself.
Peter cried everynight. He didn't have the energy to eat, shower and sometimes get out of bed. He had constant nightmares. He was on a trance.

It was a particular morning when Peter got out of that trance. Peter was still in bed. He haven't slept in days. But he didn't dare to move. He just stared at the plain wall. But Peter saw her face. Marlene was standing there looking at him with hate.

Suddenly someone knocked the door.

"Peter?" his mom called from outside.
Peter didn't answer. He covered his head with the sheets.

His mother came in.

"Peter. Wake up" she said. She sat on the side of the bed.

"I've made you breakfast. Your favourite. Eggs and bacon?"

"Not hungry mom"

"You need to eat. At least raise up from bed. It's your Birthday"

"Who cares?" said Peter "Nobody cares"

Everyone was too busy on staying alive.

"FOR MERLIN'S BEARD!" his mother yelled, which made Peter looked at her. "I'm bloody tired of this! What's going on? You don't eat, you don't get out of bed" she had tears on her eyes "You don't tell me what's going on? What's going on?"

Peter didn't answer.

"YOU'RE GONNA GET OUT OF BED THIS INSTANT" she yelled.

And Peter couldn't take it anymore. He brust into tears. Covering his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry" he said sobbing

"Oh Peter"

"I'm so sorry. M' just too scared. An...an... tireeeed, M' bloody tireeeed...."

His mother hugged him. She also cried as well.

"It's okay baby" she said "It's okay"

"I waaant to leaaave!" Peter cried

"Okay, okay sweet pie"

And they both cried like never before.

October 1981

After the talk with his mother, Mrs. Pettigrew seemed to be too pending of Peter. Constantly watching him, feeding him. Almost never leaving him alone. But Peter felt the same emptiness inside. He just wanted the war to be over. Everything to be over.

For the past couple of weeks, The Order meetings had been cancelled, almost every member was death. James and Lily couldn't go out of the house and only Sirius was their secret keeper. Same thing with Frank and Alice. Augusta, Frank's mother was their secret keeper. So there was no point on doing the meetings or missions anymore. At least according to Dumbledore, until they have an excellent plan.

Malfoy sent code letters to Peter mostly every day threathening him. He was loosing pacience. So Peter only had one choice.

"Mom" they were drinking tea while Mrs. Pettigrew read the Daily Prophet.