Don't Look Back(Tsukkiyama)

Chapter 3: Hiding

Be careful y'all it's about to get ANGSTYYY



"E-England..?" Yamaguchi looked at Tsukishima in disbelief, shock, and pain all at once. His bottom lip starting to quiver. Yaku suddenly paused. *insert pikachu gasp face here* "I uhh- I have to actually head back so um..See you later?" Before anyone could respond Yaku was already walking away. "Yamaguchi I-" But before Kei could even answer, Yamaguchi gave him a slap across the cheek, tears already streaming down his face as he runs off down the street. "YAMAGUCHI! WAIT! I- I CAN EXPLAIN!" But it was too late, he was already gone. 

"Shit.." Tsukishima looked down, closing his eyes as tears immediately start to fall. His heart felt heavy with guilt. He should've told him sooner..Either way would've made him cry. And that look he gave Kei. He couldn't get it out of his head, those hurt eyes staring into his own. Like lost spirits, abandoned. He tried to wipe his tears, but more kept coming. What if that was the last time he sees him? He probably hates him..He rushes back to his house shutting the door close as he leans against it sliding to the floor. Wrapping his arms around his knees holding them close to his chest as he sobs. He messed up. Badly.

{Yamaguchi, Running}

[He's leaving..!? And he wasn't gonna tell me? What was he even planning to do?!] He thought to himself, SCREAMING in his head since he couldn't out loud. Though while he was screaming to himself in his head, he lost track of where he was running and ended up at the street corner. The cafe where they met. He slowly wipes his eyes, still red and puffy from crying as he sits down with his head hanging down low. Nobody tried to talk to him since they all caught the vibe that he didn't exactly want to talk right now. His breathing calmed down slowly to the familiar scent of the store, though his eyes felt heavy and he wanted to start flat out sobbing right then and there. He bit his lower lip to stop even though it left a red bite mark. What was he going to do? Was Tsukki just gonna leave and he would move on? He'd miss him..badly. [I shouldn't have hit him..] He sighs, wiping his eyes again even though they were dry.

After about 10 minutes he stands back up and makes his way slowly to his house, passing Tsukishima's house looking at the "SOLD OUT" sign mocking him in the front lawn, he could feel tears coming again. But he tried his best to hold it in. He managed to get home without another tear shed, though his streak didn't last for long as he burst into a sob again. What was he going to do? He couldn't bare to think of Tsukki leaving him..What if he told him how he felt? Maybe then he'd change his mind..It wasn't much of a plan but it was all he got. He quickly grabbed his phone to call his soulmate.

"Tsukki..?"

"Yamaguchi! Is- Is that you?" -Tsukishima said, trying to wipe his eyes fast enough so it doesn't sound like he was crying.

"I need to tell you something..something important." 

"What is it..?"

"..."

"Yamaguchi?"

"I can't tell you over phone, meet me at the park tomorrow..ok?"

"Ok. I'll be there"

-Beep-

[I can't do it now..not like this...] Yamaguchi thought, looking down at his wrinkled clothes. His nose runny from crying, barely being able to breathe. He smiled to himself, he felt a little more relieved now that he knew he was able to talk to him just one more time..He can't leave..He just can't. Yamaguchi fell asleep in his clothes, not bothering to change as he awaited, almost dreading the next day and how Tsukki would respond..He was a guy after all, what if he isn't even gay? No..He must've felt something during his time with Yamaguchi. Right? 

Well, he was too tired to think about it now. The best he could do was get some rest for tomorrow.

{Tsukishima}

What was it he wanted to talk about? Whatever it is, it probably has to do with his trip..He felt so bad with how Yamaguchi found out. He felt so guilty even though it wasn't him who told him in the first place. That look he saw on Yamaguchi's face haunted him..He barely got any rest just thinking about it. 

{Next day}

Tsukishima woke bright and early, he wasted no time getting ready as he was aching to see Yamaguchi again. It was the day before he had to leave, and it was at this point he started having second thoughts about it. He practically fell out the door and ran to the park, what was he going to say? Was he going to officially cut things off between them? He'd understand if he did, but the thought of it frightened him sending shivers down his spine. He finally made it, he rested his hands on his knees, panting like a dog. [Where..] pant [Is..] pant [He..?] pant pant. He slowly crept to the bench as he collapsed down still panting. Since when was the last time he ran like that? ...Since when was the last time he even ran. 

About a few minutes later, Yamaguchi made his way to the park as well. Meeting Tsukki and sitting down next to him on the bench. 

"So.. What was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Before I answer..when are you going to be leaving, Tsukki?" The words felt like acid pouring from his mouth..He felt like crying again. He bit his bottom lip making the red bite mark even worse.

"..Tomorrow."

"TOMORROW?!" Scratch that, because no matter how hard Yamaguchi bit he still couldn't hold back his tears, holding on to Tsukishima.

"I don't want you to leave Tsukki! Not now.. Not- Not ever!"

"What are you saying..?"

"I'm saying..I'm saying I love you, you idiot!"

Tsukishima paused, he looked stunned. He couldn't help but blush as a smile spread across his face. "You love me..?"

"Of course I do! Everything about you! You're hair..You're laugh..You're SMILE! EVERYTHING! And..and I want you to stay here..with me!" Tears rolling down his face, Tsukishima couldn't tell if they were sad or happy tears either. "I..I know it's selfish of me but I can't be without you, Tsukki! I just can't bare it! Every second I feel like if I'm not with you..I'm not whole, not complete. So please.. I beg you.. Stay." 

By now, Tsukishima started crying too as he held Yamaguchi in his arms. "Yamaguchi I.." the crying boy looked so small in his arms, so cowardly. It was so adorable at the same time. "I want to stay..believe me, I do. But this is a really big deal for me..and..." He looked away as he covered his mouth to keep himself from making any loud sobbing sounds. 

Yamaguchi looked at the floor, slowly sitting back up letting go of Tsukishima. He sighs, wiping his eyes. "It's..It's fine." He looks away, hurt. "I just..can't look at you right now..I'm sorry." Yamaguchi stands up and walks away, digging his nails into his palms. He never should've called Kei over. He never should've confessed..It hurts..It hurts so badly. He makes his way back home, quickly falling into Hinata's arms, he needs to talk to someone. Anyone that'll listen. "He's..He's gone Hinata".

He's gone.




HIIII IM SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS RLLY SHORT BUT I PROMISE I HAVE A BIGGG FINALE COMING SO JUST BARE WITH ME OK.