She was gone.....Gone before she left.
She had been hurt yet again,let down by the person she thought she could trust.
T~ torn apart.
I~ insecure.
R ~Really faking her smile.
E ~emotionally torn.
D ~Drowning in her own insecurities.
When I say I'm tired The truth is I'm hurt and I just want to sleep to escape the pain,the pain that he's caused me. The pain that my own father made me feel throughout my whole life, I wrote plenty of letters yet I've never sent one because I was afraid of rejection......My own father had broke me before anyone else could, now I'm afraid to put my trust in men, I mean why should I? Just so I could be hurt again? I'd rather protect myself than be hurt by another human God placed on this earth to love.
To love....But how could someone love me if I have so many insecurities. How could someone love me if I cannot love myself but then again who are they to judge one's insecurities? who are they to judge one's unhappiness within themselves? I mean I love myself but she could use change. She wasn't as perfect as I wanted to be but she was good enough. Good enough to the eyes of a man worthy of my love, worthy of my trust but I guess time will only tell if i'm ready to give it up.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about suicide before, but those were my unhappy days when I simply thought it was the only way. I look at my reflection....well my unhappy one, We speak for A brief moment .When I say I didn't do it. I mean my soul is curling in around itself, when I say I didn't do it I mean I could break my teeth on this pillow holding back years of screams.When I say I didn't do it (In my mind) I know better than to open my mouth Because you've already made up my story, The saddest thing about it is it'd all be true...........if the roles were reversed
where you were me, and I was you.
Just remember this conversation is with the unhappy reflection, the reflection where all my insecurities and worries are. The reflection that stares back at me and smiles, because she reminds me every day of what I used to be and who I left behind. I fell Into that unhappy place once again that dark place where the unhappy reflection tried to be my friend I looked her in her eyes and said "you cannot be my friend" so I could become the woman I am today. Then when I opened my eyes and sat up on that bed that's when I realized ......
I was simply dreaming again.
YOU ARE READING
An Open Heart
Random"An Open Heart" is the story more personal to me. The story where I'll take my readers on my life's road. Let you guys into my mind and let you visualize my inner thoughts and feelings.
