Loss in the family.

Chapter 4: I feel.

He embraces me in a hug as I covered his shoulder in salty tears. “It’s okay to cry, and as long as you are I will be here with empty hands,” he says.

“I can’t hear her, and I won’t hear her again, how do you live when your child is ripped away from you, how does anyone have the ability or even the will to live,” I say in between deep choppy breaths and wiping my face of tears.

“I don’t know how people do it but through it all I will be sitting right here where you need me,” he says rubbing my arm and hugging me tightly.

“Thank you, if you weren’t here I….I don’t know what I would do,” I say trying to calm down at least a little bit.

“Have you told anyone else,” he asks me.

“Yah, I’ve told everyone, a lot of them may fly out, I know Vechs will,” I say wiping my face of snot and pushing the hair out of my face.

“Oh, is he going to stay here to,” he asks.

“Probably, I don’t know where you guys are going to sleep,” I say.

“I’ll sleep on the couch, he can have the guest room,” he says.

“No you don’t have to do that,” I say.

“Yes I know but I’m going to,” he says grinning. 

“Okay,” I say cuddling up to him and closing my eyes.

“You hungry,” he asks me.

“No, but you can help yourself” I reply.

“Not right now you’re comfortable and I’m comfortable, I just wanna sit here with you, that’s all I ever want to do,” he says.

“That’s all you ever want to do when you’re here,” I say, it was strange I was actually feeling a bit happy, he has that effect on me even in my worst of times.

“Yah but now you’re emotionally distressed so it’s different,” he says hugging me tighter.

“You know we can’t flirt a lot when Vechs is around,” I say looking at him.

“We don’t flirt,” he said.

“Yah I guess you’re right,” I said closing my eyes and falling asleep.

I woke up, it was dark and warm. Jordan wasn’t below me anymore.

“Jordan,” I said a little loudly.

“In here,” he said, it seemed to come from the kitchen.

I stood up a little wobbly, and walked slowly to the kitchen. When I turned the corner the light blinded me for a second and I saw Jordan cooking dinner. I was stunned, Jordan never cooked in fact he hated cooking with all his soul but he did it for me, or because I fell asleep he was worried about dying of starvation but still it was my kitchen.

“You cooked,” I asked smiling and leaning on the door frame.

“Why yes I did and I would like to think I did a good job,” he said holding up a spatula that he was using to flip some garlic toast that he was frying in the pan.

“So spaghetti,” I asked.

“No, even better, it’s your favorite,” he says smiling.

“No, you didn’t did you,” I said standing back up straight looking anxious.

He smiles and opens the oven door and inside was a golden brown bubbly layer of cheese and under that was a lot of lasagna.

“Are you serious, how did you know that was my favorite,” I said walking to the oven.

“Because I pay attention,” he says grabbing oven mitts and he pulls it out.

“Yes you do,” I said laying my head on his shoulder.