|who i am|

|thirty-four|

|SunMi's POV|

The music fades out and the lights dim down as we hurry off stage. All that's left is the encore stage. I never imagined I'd be able to say that. I always thought I'd be working at a computer company or making video games. Instead, I'm standing on stage with four girls I would've never met if I hadn't attempted this path.

I never used to sweat this much. I was never out of breath, but look at me now. I crave it. I crave the feeling of hard work. It makes me feel like I'm succeeding at something for the first time ever.

"Candi! Candi!" The audience cheers as we linger beside the stage.

"Black Licorice?" Aera questions in attempt to confirm our encore song.

"Yeah. Ready?" NaHee asks as we all lock hands.

We step out on the stage, the lights barely bright enough to make out our figures. We all exchange glances before holding our mics in front of us. The moment the lights go up, an all too familiar song starts, but it's not ours.

I immediately let go of JuHee and NaHee's hands. I turn around to see San and SeongHwa stepping on stage from opposite sides. San is the first to sing as I feel tears filling my eyes. I lower my head and turn my back to the audience. A video of all of us begins to play on the screen.

WooYoung and YeoSang follow behind them smiling brightly as they both lock eyes with me. I reach up to wipe away my tears. This song—it got me through a lot. It made me keep holding on when I felt like I had nothing left to live for.

YunHo and JongHo join the others on stage as they all slowly make their way toward us. JongHo's eyes never leave me. The others all smile at the other girls, but not JongHo. He can only see me.

HongJoong and MinGi slip on stage behind them, waiting for their parts. The moment JongHo is close enough, I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest. I don't care who takes pictures. I don't care who sees. This is my moment. I'm the star of the day. This is everything he and the others have been preparing me for.

Not long after the boys full the stage, a bunch of other people join us. I watch as each of the girls are surrounded by family. They smile and cry as their dreams are finally in reach. They get to share the moment with the people who love them—but there's someone missing. My heart sinks. I knew they wouldn't be here, but I was hoping.

My happy tears shift to disappointment. JongHo can sense my sorrow. He wraps his arms around me tighter and rests his cheek against the top of my head. I close my eyes tightly and struggle to keep my grip on my microphone. I feel a warm hand over mine. I open my eyes to see SeongHwa. He leans in toward me and lowers his own microphone so it doesn't pick up what he has to say.

"You're family is here, Sun. All eight of us, plus the new four. Everyone you need is right here. We're all here for you." SeongHwa brushes my hair from my face before stepping back to sing his part.

"He's right, you know. You're going to be stuck with us until the day we die." JongHo smiles as he takes my face in his hands. Despite the large audience, JongHo leans in to place a soft kiss on my lips.

I slap his chest and immediately pull away. I glance back at the audience to see people yelling and cheering. JongHo takes that as a sign and he picks me up. He carries me to the center of the stage and leans in to kiss me once again.