Hello, My LOVE

FIVE

I was panicking, like crazy. I knew it was inevitable to not. Tonight I had to meet my worst nightmare. I almost had an anxiety attack. Just by thinking about what all will happen tonight. He'll probably demand his "pleasure", maybe he'll ask me to suck him off. I won't. I can't. That's disgusting. He's my BOSS. 

But my mind reiterated the whole incident from the cafe. And so I decided it's better to not overthink this situation. I went to meet my father, he's still in the hospital. Doctors are a lot more sure that his body will get accustomed to his system. And I was a lot more happy.

It was around 5 when I got a message from Mr. BLACK, it read "Be there at 7 pm"

And I ignored the message because that little sense of control brought a lot of pleasure. And then I called an Uber.

In the cab, I reminisced about the day Adrian left. "I didn't mean to do it," he said.

"It's your life, Adrian. We aren't together anymore. You don't have to explain anything. You- you didn't cheat on me, we AREN'T in a relationship" I felt as if someone was squeezing my throat. I wanted to cry. I felt cheated but I wasn't.

It was complicated. It's still complicated.

Adrian was my first boyfriend, my first everything. He cared for me and I craved him.

He was my solace in this mess of a world, whenever he called me "LOVE" it felt like everything would be alright. No matter what.

Then he got a job opportunity in Dubai. How I wish I could go with him but I knew this wasn't possible.

He never told me about the opportunity, but his best friend did, accidentally.

"So, I thought you weren't interested in a long-distance relationship," Luke said.

I was confused. We were at a party and Adrian left us together to meet some friends.

"What do you mean?" I asked genuinely curious.

"I mean when Adrian will go to Dubai. What will you do?" He said casually.
I looked confused.
"Don't tell me you don't know!" he said looking a little shocked.

"What? Tell me." What was he talking about? Adrian and Dubai?

"Oh, I think Adrian should. It's not my place to tell you." He said.

Luke was the kind of person who didn't care about emotions or feelings.
So I persisted.

"He's got an opportunity to work with the biggest brand in the market but he'll have to move to Dubai. You know his "dream company"." What? I was speechless.

I knew about Adrian's "dream company" all his close friends do. Because he had this goal of working in this one particular company at this certain age. And to think that he didn't tell me about it. Maybe he will. He will tell me maybe tonight or tomorrow. But- But he always shared everything with me.

Why not now?

"Why didn't he tell me about it?" I asked Luke. Knowing that he'll end up telling me.

"Maybe, because you have a policy of "no long distance relationships". He said with a shrug.

I did. We had a discussion about this. Adrian and I, often discussed this.

"You really think that's why?" I asked him. I knew he was hiding something. And he actually gave in.

"Yes! Everyone knows how you feel about long distance. Anyone who knows you even a little knows how you don't reply to texts instantly or call others" He was right. I slacked like anything when it came to calling people. I can't adult that way.

At this moment Adrian made his entrance and we stopped talking about this matter. But it stayed with me for longer than I thought it would.

I promised myself to not question Adrian and let him tell me on his own accord.
But I couldn't control myself. And after the party, I ended up asking.

"You're going to Dubai?" I didn't want to put him in a spot like this but I had no other way of asking him.

"No." He said. This one-word answer didn't sit right with me.

"What do you mean by no? You should go. You want to work with that company and now you're getting an opportunity. Why are you letting it go? I asked.

"Because I don't think it's worth my future." He said looking directly at me.

"Are you crazy? It's your DREAM COMPANY. What happened?" I asked infuriated.

"Why are you getting angry? My priorities changed." What is he drunk? What priorities is he talking about?

"I am not angry Adrain, but I wanna know why." I said, calming myself.

"I'll ask a question, give me an honest reply"

I nodded.

"If I go to Dubai, will you come with me?" He asked.

"You know, I can't. I can't leave my father behind. " I said almost in a dejected tone.

"Okay! Then, I'm not going."

"No, you must, Adrian. You can't leave this opportunity for me. I'm there for you, but this opportunity will not be there. And you know how important it is for you." I tried convincing him.

It's hard for me, but I had to. I can't let him leave this opportunity for me. I won't. I can't destroy his future because I'm insecure and can't do long-distance relationships.

He looked at me with a sad expression and stopped the car. I realized we were now in front of my apartment. And I smiled at him.

"I'll forever love you. Goodnight" I said. There was nothing good about this night.

And I hopped out of the car without waiting for a reply. I reached the gate of my building and turned. He was still there.

I smiled sadly.