It was year 419 when I first saw the place where I grew up.
I wasn't born here, I was thrown here.
'Yan ang aking pinaniwalaan.
Or is it the other way around?
I really don't know the answer. I try to conclude but every conclusion is nearly absurd.
Naging pulubi ako.
Wandering everywhere, slumbering on where my feet brought me to. Grabbing food from supermarkets. That's how I survive in this horrible world.
I can still recall how my eyes slowly opened and how confusion strikes me when I first saw this unfamiliar town.
I remember how questions engulf my mind.
'Nasaan ako?'
'Sino ako?'
'Why can't I remember a single damn thing?'
Hindi ko alam paano ako napunta rito o kung galing ba ako rito.
I really don't know! I'm going crazy on getting answers but thinking drove me nowhere. I guess I just need to think about how I withstand this fate given to me. And so, I quit asking myself.
And there, one time when a guy merchant held my arm, I saw something written on my skin. I escaped with the meat I grabbed then I look at the side of my arm, 'my birthday' and the date of it was written, no, it was tattooed. And under it, says 'Rd414'.
Questions quickly rush through me. I don't remember getting a tattoo.
Does everyone have it too?
I tried talking to some stupid beggars to see if they also have it, but all I saw was their skin covered with dirt.
My life is so boring. Tuwing umaga, pinipilit kong mabuhay sa magulong mundong aking ginagalawan. Kapag gabi ay hindi rin ako nakakapagpahinga dahil utak ko naman ang gumagana, iniisip kung saan ako galing, sino ako at ang mga iba pang katanungang bumabalot sa aking isipan, laging nakatingala sa langit na para bang matutulungan ako nito tulad nang kung paano tingalain ng mga mabababa ang mga mayayaman.
My world is so horrible. My life is sickeningly miserable.
Paulit-ulit. Walang oras magpahinga dahil kapos sa biyaya at sa taong gagabay dapat sa aming mga bata but I need no one, but myself. Kaya kong mabuhay sa sarili kong paa
..and so I thought.
Until one day.
I almost died out of starvation and disease I got from the streets. Akala ko katapusan ko na, akala ko panahon na para makapagpahinga ako, ngunit merong nagtutulak sa akin na hindi ako pwedeng pumikit, na dapat mulat lang ang aking mata hangga't hindi ko nalalaman ang sikretong nakakubli sa pagkatao ko, kung sino ang gumawa nito at bakit. I was holding on this tiny hope na sa araw rin na 'yon, mababago ang buhay ko.
My guts didn't let me down though.
A couple saw me at the side of a bridge, they adopted me and made my life a little better than my life before.
Then I got a sister, an eldest sister, they named her Alessia. We're each other's ally.
After the improvements in my life, I don't feel any satisfaction at all.
Questions are always drowning me as if stopping me to be happy.
I thought the flow of questions ended but it resumes when I saw the same tattoo on my eldest sister's arm. Her birthday is there and those weird numbers and letters, it says 'Rd412'.
"Hindi ko alam, all I know is that I woke up and the first thing I saw is this unfamiliar town without remembering anything. I thought, maybe I was dumped here by my parents but if they planned to dump me, they should've done it when I was born. And I saw a lot of other kids, too. I talked to them, asked them how they got here, they said they were dumped by their parents without any other pieces of information, simula nun naniwala akong katulad ko lang rin sila, at nang mamuhay ako rito, naisip ko na ang rason ay dahil hindi na ako kayang buhayin ng taong nagsilang sa akin."
"H-How? How can they remember it?" I asked. 'I don't even know how I got here.'
"Hindi ko alam pero ang weird na tayo lamang ang meron nito." itinuro nito ang braso ko. "Are we related?" Napaisip ako rito ngunit wala akong maisip na sagot kaya isinantabi ko na muna ito. "I also noticed that we are all dumped when we are 15 years old."
'How did she manage to get these informations?'
'We are just the same.. but all I got was tons of questions..without a single answer.'
Isinantabi ko rin ang aking mga katanungan dahil hindi ito oras para roon.
"Aware ako na pera ang pangunahing problema ng lugar na ito. Alam kong alam mo rin." I told her and she just nodded, looking seriously at me. "Isn't it weird?"
"Ang alin?" She asked.
"Our so-called-parents adopted us but they are not even that wealthy, other parents including ours, dumped their children maybe because they don't have enough money to raise them and us anymore, then why did those two adopt us? I don't see any decent reason behind it. And it's really weird how we can't remember our childhood, and how other children know nothing if it is their tradition to dump 15-year-old teenagers." I seriously said what's on my mind. Then I saw something with my peripheral vision, I looked at it and my heart almost dropped!
It was an eye.
Pair of eyes.
Looking at us.
No. It was staring at us.
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I apologize for any grammatical errors and other types of errors.